Immortal Fear
by Kaoru2.50
Summary: Sirius returns from behind the veil, but its been two years and nothing is as he left it. SBRL Slash. Some DMHP.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It's not what I usually write, I know, but my friend gave me a hint, hint, wink, wink scenario set-up, as well as inspiration for its title, so here you go. I promised I'd write her one of these eventually anyway. This fic is dedicated to my friend, snowsylph.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or its characters.**

**Immortal Fear**

**By: Kaoru2.50**

Dark and cold surrounded him on all sides. Not the warm darkness of late summer nights, but the chilling darkness of death, spreading fear through his being, encroaching upon the happiness he once held, the anger he once felt, the love he once revered, overwhelming all other emotions. Not the refreshing cold of a new winter's snow, but fingers of ice, freezing him to the marrow of his bone, all the more powerful for the whispers that echoed about the endless space, ringing with horrifying clarity in his ears. Insanity could easily overcome a man in this place, where even alert eyes cannot detect a mere glimmer of light. He was alone. Achingly, sorrowfully alone, with only memories and the voices in the darkness.

Sirius Black, known as Snuffles in some circles, groaned and rolled over on his back. He could not even summon the energy to hiss in pain when his elbow collided with the stone floor upon which he was sprawled. The voices still whispered around him, but they seemed different somehow, less miserable, more questioning. Slowly, slowly, he cracked an eye open, the merest slit through which he could catch only a glimmer of the light that shone above him.

At first, Sirius did not process what his eye told him. To confirm the suspicion niggling in the back of his mind, he opened his other eye, and both widened with the realization that he could see light. The flickering glowing light of candles that outlined the figures leaning over him, hiding their faces in shadow as they whispered in confusion amongst themselves.

The pain of a body too long unmoved slowing him down, Sirius sat up taking in with wonder the room around him and the people in it, shrouded as they were by cloaks and robes. The figures backed away as he reached out, grasping at the nearest object to help him stand. Once in a fully upright position, Sirius looked at the stone beneath his hand and the ragged veil brushing against his fingertips. Gasping, he shoved himself away, almost falling before regaining his balance. Memories flooded through him, of this room filled with Deatheaters and his friends, locked in battle. Of Harry, his godson, his best friend's only child, having just barely escaped death at the hands of those who followed the Dark Lord. Of facing off with his cousin, laughing at her poor aim, then falling.

He stumbled toward the door, apparently left to his own devices by the figures that glided wraithlike among the shelves of the room, his mind focused on one thought, one person, kept upright in the certainty that he was waiting. In some room, waiting patiently, perhaps complying with orders from Dumbledore and assisting Harry in his fight, and holding answers that were so desperately needed was his love, Remus Lupin.

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If asked, Sirius Black would never be able to recollect how exactly he made it, but he finally found himself staring up at the dilapidated structure that was his house, 12 Grimmauld Place. Confident of the warm reception he would receive, Sirius opened the door and entered, jumping only slightly when his mother's portrait began her usual tirade on filthy blood traitors and half-bloods. With effort born of desperation, for this was not the welcome he had anticipated, Sirius struggled the curtains closed, breathing a sigh of relief when the screams ceased.

A gasp alerted him to the presence of another person and he lifted his eyes to the door leading to the kitchen. A smile came to his face. Framed in the arch, still as tired-looking as the last time he saw him, stood Remus in all his patched robed glory. Sirius had pushed himself off the wall and started toward the other man, whose face seemed frozen in shock, before he noticed the person standing beside him, and the hands with fingers entwined between them.

Remus, his Remus, holding hands with his only decent cousin, Tonks. The sight made his heart hurt and he felt as he did when he resided in Azkaban surrounded by Dementors and breathing only the stench of sorrow. His gaze flicked between the two, searching for a sign, any sign that he wasn't really seeing this. "Sirius," breathed Remus, as though he couldn't quite believe that the man was standing before his very eyes. Tonks smiled brightly, oblivious to the undertones of the single word uttered between the men, lifted the hand that clenched that of the man Sirius loved in a cheerful wave. "Wotcher, Sirius!"

**A/N: Well, that's all for now, so how about some feedback, yeah? Tell me what you thought, (good, bad or otherwise).**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello again. Sorry this was so long in coming, but in case you cared, here it is!**

**Immortal Fear**

**Chapter 2**

The silence in the room was deafening. Sirius was unfamiliar with silence. For a long time, he could remember always being surrounded with noise. Noise made by sorrow, or madness, but noise nonetheless. Silence was what he'd shared during the rare moments in school and after graduation when he was alone with Remus. They would sit, Remus in his arms, and they had no need of words. Words were for people who did not share the love they did. But this silence. This silence hurt. It struck lances of pain through his heart. He opened his mouth but the silence defeated him. He could say nothing, could only watch.

Tonks was speaking, saying something about his reappearance, no doubt. But he couldn't hear her. Remus murmured something, but he couldn't hear his voice either. Sirius wondered idly if he was deaf. But no. There was a thumping of feet running down the hall upstairs and he tore his gaze away from his love in time to see Harry appear at the top of the stairs.

"Lupin, I need to…" Harry froze mid-sentence and stared down in shock at the sight below him. A tall body topped off with a bright red mass of hair ran into Harry's motionless form, followed closely by a shorter, bushy haired figure. Both fell down to the floor, not having even budged Harry.

"Harry, what are you…?" Ron Weasly stood up and was in the process of helping Hermione Granger from the floor when he caught sight of their visitor. "Bloody hell," he said softly and with awe. Hermione fell again when Ron's arms went slack. "Ronald," she cried standing and dusting herself off. "You're such a…Oh, my…Sirius." Hermione exchanged a quick glance with Ron before they both looked at Harry.

"You see him too, then?" he asked softly. Harry stepped down a couple of steps, his eyes never leaving his godfather's face. "He's really here then?" With a small cry, Harry charged down the rest of the steps and plowed into Sirius. "I knew you weren't really gone!" he exclaimed pressing his face into Sirius' chest and not caring that he smelled less than savory. "Everyone said you'd died, you wouldn't come back! But I knew they were wrong."

Sirius slowly put his arms around Harry. He looked once over his shoulder. Remus was being pulled away by Tonks. They met eyes and for a moment, Sirius swore he could see guilt in the light depths of his love's gaze. Then they were gone, disappearing through the door from which they'd come. He turned his head back to Harry, stroking his hair comfortingly before looking up at Ron and Hermione, who had come down the stairs.

There was something different about the two. They were taller. Ron was even taller than he. The boy in his arms felt no taller than when he'd last been there, but he was thinner. "How…" his voice was rusty from disuse. "How long have I been gone?" he asked hoarsely. Harry didn't answer; his shoulders were still shaking from the tears Sirius could feel soaking the front of his shirt.

Ron watched his face carefully as he said, "Two years." Sirius frowned. Two years? That couldn't be right. It had only been yesterday that he fell through the veil but Hermione was nodding her confirmation. It made more sense. Sirius bent his head and rested it on Harry's. Two years he'd lost. Two years with Harry. Two years with Remus. A gentle hand on his shoulder drew his attention to Hermione.

"Come with us. You should rest," she said. Sirius nodded and made to follow her, but Harry still stood against him. Ron reached out, drawing Harry away as though he'd done the like many times before. Hermione led the way up the stairs, followed by Sirius, with Ron leading Harry behind them. Sirius almost smiled at the thought of his godchild's friends leading him through his own house.

He found himself in a room which, judging from the décor, belonged to Harry. Yes, he recognized that broom leaning against the dresser and was pleased that Harry still had it. He sat on the bed, not even moving when the dark-haired boy curled on to the mattress next to him. Harry's knees pressed lightly into his back.

Hermione sighed. "He just wants to make sure you're real this time." Sirius watched as she pulled a chair from the desk and sat. Ron sat on the floor and eyed the scene before him. "Harry hasn't…he hasn't been well," Hermione continued. "He suffered a lot of damage fighting Voldemort. Oh, for heaven's sake, Ron!" she cried, glaring down at the boy. "He's dead. You can stop flinching at his name now." Ron gave her a sheepish grin. "Sorry, 'Mione."

"Voldemort's dead," Sirius said, more to himself than anything. He ignored the slap of Hermione's hand against Ron's head. "How did he do it?" Hermione shrugged. "No one knows. Harry ran off while we were fighting. By the time anyone found him, he was unconscious and Vol… the Dark Lord was dead." Ron nodded his thanks to her and picked up the story. "Harry was out for three months. When he woke up, he didn't talk for a long time," Hermione reached out and held Ron's hand.

"He kept thinking he saw you. We've had several…" he paused, searching for the right word, the shrugged. "Episodes. The last one was four months ago. He's been much better since…" Ron trailed off as Harry stirred and looked at his friends. "Can I talk to Sirius by myself?" he asked. Ron immediately stood and, still holding Hermione's hand, walked from the room. Sirius turned to his godson expectantly.

Harry was quiet. "I wasn't…I don't think I was sane for a while," he said slowly, not meeting the man's gaze. "I'm better now. But I … Sirius, I knew you'd come back." Harry smiled, but it faded quickly. "You saw Remus and Tonks, didn't you?" he asked softly. Sirius nodded, still uncomfortable with his voice. "Do you love him?" Sirius nodded again. "Good," Harry beamed. "Because I've got someone to introduce to you." He stood and crossed the room to a door Sirius knew led to another bedroom.

Sirius was curious. Harry sounded so excited and hopeful that he couldn't help but push aside his own hurt for the moment. "I wanted to be sure you wouldn't mind. It was a bit of a shock for everyone at first. Well," he smiled, "me too. But especially Ron." He knocked on the door and stood back as it opened. A familiar blond teen entered the room, reaching out to pull Harry close.

"Sirius, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend." Draco Malfoy nodded slightly in greeting, face impassive, but eyes revealing his nervousness. Sirius was quiet for a moment, then threw up his hands. "What is it with you two and my cousins? Apparently, I missed some vital part of the gene pool," he said, forcing the words though his voice hurt from the effort. Draco leaned down to whisper in Harry's ear. "Does that mean he's okay with it?" Harry nodded. "I think so."

**A/N: Okay. That's all for now. It kind of went in a different direction than I thought. Let me know what you think, good bad or otherwise! And Thanks to the three who reviewed my last chapter. I forgot to put your names in but I'll do it next time.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Yeah. Here you go.**

**Disclaimer: Not my world.**

**Immortal Fear**

Sirius sighed and pulled the pillow tighter beneath his chin as he stared out the window next to his bed. The birds were out flying, ducking between shadows and dodging falling leaves. He growled, wishing he could be so carefree. A gentle knock sounded at his door, but Sirius ignored the sound. When the door opened and closed with a soft click, he glared up at the intruder only to find wary hazel eyes watching him carefully.

"Sirius," Remus said softly. "I…we thought you were…" Sirius didn't wait to hear the rest. He stood from his bed and tossed the pillow aside, stalking towards the shorter man and standing close enough to emphasize his superior height. "You thought I was dead," he sneered, glaring down at the man who he had thought would wait for him.

Remus looked away, biting his lip. Sirius wanted to be biting Remus' lip as well, but he forced himself to stay back. His werewolf wasn't his anymore, he belonged to Tonks. "Was I supposed to wait?" he asked softly. Sirius' frown deepened and Remus turned again to meet his eyes, gaze firm with his defense. "How long, Sirius?" Remus continued. "Thirteen years! Thirteen years I waited for you, hoping, praying, that you were innocent. That you'd come back!" He stepped towards Sirius, eyes flashing as they stood toe to toe, neither man wanting to admit his mistake.

"How long would it be this time, Sirius? How long was I supposed to be alone?" Sirius glared down at the man. "Two years, Remus." He held up two fingers. "Two short years, apparently. But you couldn't wait." Remus shook his head and took a step back, then another, bringing his hands up. "You weren't coming back!" he yelled, eyes welling with tears. "You were dead! I was alone! All alone…" Remus' voice broke and he swiped at his cheeks and choked back a sob.

Sirius reached out to comfort his love before he remembered the pain the other man had caused him and steeled his resolve. Remus muffled another sob and said, "How were we, any of us, supposed to know you'd come back? What would you have done?" Sirius clenched his teeth. "I would have waited for you. No matter how long it took, I would have waited," he answered, voice cold with remembered heartbreak.

Remus gasped and buried his face in his hands. Sirius watched silently as the other man tried to gain control of his emotions. When he looked up to Sirius again, his eyes were dry and his back straight. "I won't make the same mistake twice," he said. "I won't let her down as I did you. I'm sorry." He spun on his heel and left the room, not bothering to close the door behind him.

Sirius sighed as he walked over to close it. A 'tsking' sound reached his ears and he looked up to find his blond cousin leaning against the wall opposite his door. "Well done," Draco said. Sirius flipped him the bird and shut the door in his pointy face. Who needed cousins anyhow? It was a sure thing that his life would be better of without them.

**A/N: Thanks to random zinthos and Eewin for reviewing!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: My friend's been pushing for it, so here's the next chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Harry Potter universe, and that includes the characters.**

**Immortal Fear**

Chapter 4

"I still don't see why you won't just tell him, Sirius."

Sirius, relaxing on his back on the soft grass in the backyard and warmed by a rare beautiful day, frowned up at the dark-haired man blocking his view of the soft blue sky. The look on Harry's face told him he couldn't even pretend not to know what the teen was talking about.

Slowly, Sirius sat and stretched, lifting his arms above his head in a way that caused his shirt to ride up, revealing several inches of bare skin for anyone who bothered to look to see. No one was bothering to look though, and the realization was what had brought Sirius outside, when staying inside meant watching his cousin's sickeningly sweet overtures towards the man who should have been his.

Sirius bit back the growl that usually came with any thoughts of Remus Lupin, because it was something Harry would latch on to and use over and over again to prove, as if Sirius didn't already know, that the man was miserable. Even so, his godson noticed and took a seat next to Sirius, crossing his legs and leaning back on his hands, while he studiously avoided looking at the older man's face.

"Maybe things would be different if he knew you still love him," Harry suggested softly. Sirius snorted, not bothering to answer such an obviously stupid statement and the two sat in silence for while. "Well," Harry finally continued, as Sirius knew he would, "you could at least try."

Sirius shook his head. Just like his father, Harry didn't know when to drop a subject. "What would it accomplish? Nothing, except make the both of us even more miserable." He flicked a few bits of grass from the leg of his pants, idly tracing the hem as his brow furrowed. Why was he discussing any of this with a kid? Even if the kid was his own godson, the only child of his best friend, that didn't give him any more right to meddle in Sirius' love life, or lack thereof, than it did Draco, his own cousin.

Harry bit his lip and nodded slowly. "I used to think that too. But then I-" he was interrupted by another of Sirius' derisive snorts.

"Let me guess," he said darkly, shoving a hand roughly through his hair. "After your tremendous defeat of the terrible dark lord, you learned that in order to be happy you have to go for what you want, which brought us here; you and my dear cousin, a former Deatheater by the way, happy and shagging like a couple of Easter bunnies hyped up on too much bloody chocolate, attempting, quite pathetically actually, to cheer up me, the sad little man, broken in all but mind and who knows how long that will keep up."

Sirius glared at Harry, eyes dark and narrowed, daring the boy to say something, anything, to deny it. "Newsflash, Harry, the world's not all fun and games, and you, of all people should know that by now. Either take off the rose-tinted glasses and see reality or go and have some more fun with your boy-toy. If you don't get in your requisite fuck-time, one of you might actually realize there are other people out here."

A stunned silence followed his angry outburst. Then Sirius heard Harry stand and walk back to the manor. Maybe he'd been cruel but it had at least earned him a few moments' peace. He sighed and stood, brushing off his legs and shirt.

He didn't expect the fist that hit his cheek, sending flashes of pain running through his entire face. The force of the blow actually knocked him from his feet and almost before he knew what had happened, a hand had gripped the front of his shirt and he was staring at a very pissed off Draco Malfoy.

"I don't care about anyone else," the teen said, voice soft but dangerous, "but if I ever hear you speaking to Harry like that again, you will discover that this particular 'Deatheater' isn't as reformed as our hero would like. Are we quite clear, Black?"

Sirius said nothing, returning the boy's glare with one of his own while ignoring the throbbing in his cheek. He grabbed Draco's wrist, shoving him back and standing in one smooth motion. "Touch me again, _cousin_, and you will discover that I learned more in Azkaban than anyone cares to admit. Are we clear, or have you forgotten all the new tricks your father learned during his time there?"

Draco's face paled but anger kept his glare locked to Sirius', neither willing to admit defeat or even a tie. Finally, Draco shook his head. "I can't believe Harry waited two years for this, and then you wonder why Lupin moved on." Draco spun on his heel and walked away. "No one blames him but you."

Sirius waited until his cousin had disappeared before reaching up to touch his cheek. It was tender, but that was to be expected. Draco had grown up quite a bit in the past two years, so a serious punch from the boy would have some force behind it. Merlin, he hated family. It was no wonder he surrounded himself with friends. Only, now he didn't. They were all dead or otherwise gone.

He sighed and made his way inside, entering the manor by the kitchen door and immediately wishing he hadn't. "Wotcher, Sirius! Whoa. Where'd you get the shiner?" Nymphadora Tonks asked, not bothering to move from her seemingly comfortable position atop Remus' lap, a spoonful of something green held only inches from the man's mouth.

Sirius said nothing, only shot a meaningful look at the sandy-haired man before slipping through another door and leaving the two alone. It had taken all his willpower not to growl at the girl, he wasn't about to stay and actually have a conversation with Remus' new love. The dark anger that had been partially released on Harry threatened to come back at the mere thought of it.

He stormed up the stairs, ignoring the dirty looks Hermione sent him and the way she clapped a hand over Ron's mouth, though it was clear by the look on his face that the red-head had much to say and none of it complimentary. When Sirius reached his room, the sound of his door slamming reverberated through the house, even down to the kitchen. Good. He hoped Remus knew why he'd felt it necessary to knock the door almost from its hinges, right before he choked on whatever god-awful concoction Tonks was making him eat.

**A/N: Alright, thanks for reading and here're my thanks for those who reveiwed: safd, Shakespeares Whore, random zinthos, and ComplicatedDarknesS0103. Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: As per my friend's request a new chapter! Yay! Be happy, Snow! Oh, and as Bacall pointed out, Draco's actually Sirius' cousin's kid, making them second cousins. So just overlook that little mix up in previous chapters, thanks!**

**Disclaimer: No matter how many times I say it, it's not going to change. Not mine folks!**

**Chapter Five**

Sirius caught the leaf as it fell, twirling the bit of green between his fingers as he sighed and leaned back against the shed. The rain had started only moments ago but already he felt better than he had in a week. Perhaps it was because the weather finally matched his mood.

"Sirius?" a voice said softly, as though afraid to interrupt the man. He looked up to see Harry standing only a few feet away but avoiding looking at him. Harry had his wand held up, shielding himself from the rain. "We have company. Remus said…well, he said to remind you of your manners." Harry turned away and started back to the house muttering "Not that you ever listen to me."

Sirius watched the teen walk away and sighed, running a hand through his damp hair. Manners? Ha. When had Sirius ever used them? It did make him curious, however, to know who the werewolf felt deserved politeness. Damn Remus anyway. Two years and he still knew how to get Sirius right where he wanted.

He stood growling. So he'd find out who this company was, and then head up to his room. Rainy days couldn't be appreciated if you couldn't be left alone on them. Even so, he walked slowly and without a spell, perversely glad that he would arrive looking like a wet dog. Sirius snorted at the thought.

Shaking rain from his hair, Sirius stepped inside and got the distinct feeling that he'd just interrupted something. "Well, Sirius," a familiar voice drawled, "this is slightly unexpected."

Sirius grimaced and shook his head. Oh, God, not another one. He glanced up and sighed when he caught sight of the flaming red hair and freckled face. As if Ron breathing down his neck hadn't been bad enough, as if frequent appearances by the twins and the only girl hadn't made it worse, now Charlie Weasley stood wiping soot from his sleeve.

Never before had Sirius thought Molly and Arthur had had too many kids until every one of them felt it necessary to visit and berate Sirius for his, what had Percy called it- cruel and barbarous treatment of Harry. Percy didn't even _like_ Harry, a fact that had the red head flushing hotly and stuttering when Sirius pointed it out.

"What, Charlie, don't tell me no one bothered to mention I was alive? And here I thought they'd be bragging," Sirius said finally. Charlie smiled at him but Sirius didn't wait to hear anything else the man might say, instead brushing by him on his way to the stairs.

"Sirius," Charlie called, and against his better judgment, the darker man turned, brow arched in anticipation of another lecture. He was surprised when the red head only said, "We need to talk later." Sirius frowned trying to understand the meaningful look Charlie sent him before turning around to strike up a conversation with Tonks, who had just entered the room with Remus trailing behind.

Breifly, Sirius caught Remus' gaze before the other man turned away. Almost growling, Sirius spun on his heel and stalked toward the stairs, groaning as he saw Ron standing at the top.

Never let it be said that Sirius Black allowed a teenager to turn him away from the second floor. Determined to ignore the boy, Sirius had reached the top before he realized Ron hadn't moved. He looked up curiously.

"It's not that I wanted to help," the teen said softly, but with tightly controlled anger. "It was Harry's idea to call Charlie in. I'd thank him if I were you." That said, Ron turned and loped down the stairs, disappearing into the living room.

Sirius waited for the friendly greeting between the brothers before shaking his head and making his way to his room. Maybe it was all that red, but the Weasleys had to be going nutters, the whole lot of them, with their cryptic messages and little hints. How was a man sporting black locks supposed to understand any of it?

He skipped dinner, choosing instead to watch the rain hit against the window pane near his bed. It was certainly preferable to watching his cousin hand feed the man that should have been his. Even as he put thought to it, Sirius hated how weak it sounded. Twelve years in Azkaban couldn't make him give up but a challenge from his multi-colored haired relative and he just rolled over.

Sirius groaned and buried his head beneath his pillow. The problem was he couldn't see his way out of it. He'd already alienated any and all the people that could have helped. Even Harry hadn't spoken to him in three days, since Sirius had snapped at him. Well, aside from that little message from Remus, but as they weren't actually Harry's words, Sirius didn't think it counted.

The pillow was ripped from his hands and Sirius sat up as fast, glaring at the intruder. "Suicide isn't the answer, Sirius!" Charlie cried, shaking the pillow at the older man like a misbehaving schoolboy.

"What the bloody hell are you going on about, Weasley? And what are you doing in my room?" Sirius snarled as he grabbed the pillow back and tossed it over his shoulder.

Charlie shrugged. "Nothing, I just always wanted to say that. This seemed as good a time as any." He sat at the foot of the bed. "I knocked three times," Charlie said, motioning toward the door. "No one answered."

Sirius shrugged and resisted flopping back down on the bed. No need to _act_ like the schoolboy. Instead, he pulled up one knee and leaned his elbow on it, waiting for Ron's brother to finish.

Charlie shook his head with a sigh. "We needed to talk, remember? Maybe you know already," he continued, running a hand through his hair, "but Harry asked me to come. You see, he knows we have the same problem." Charlie nodded, apparently satisfied with that statement as he met Sirius' steady gaze with his own.

"We can help each other, Sirius."

**A/N: Right, well, that's all for now. Thanks to Shakespeares Whore, rekahneko, unclever, Bacall, and Jedi Queen 001 for the reviews.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hello again! You know, now that mid-terms are out of the way, I've been thinking (about something other than ancient civilizations, mind you). I realized that if Draco was Sirius' second cousin, isn't Tonks as well? She's Andromeda's kid, just like Draco is Narcissa's so I guess so. Hmm… Well, I'll still shorten it down to cousin. Second cousin is too long to type every time. **

**Disclaimer: This again? We know it's not mine. Why do I keep having to say it?**

**Chapter Six**

_"We have the same problem." Charlie nodded, apparently satisfied with that statement as he met Sirius' steady gaze with his own. _

_"We can help each other, Sirius."_

Sirius lifted a brow at that announcement, his gaze never straying from Weasley's face, taking in the earnest expression. "Right," he snorted. "If you tell me you're in love with Remus, too, I will put that pillow to use, and it won't be suicide either."

Charlie rolled his eyes and leaned back on his hands, staring at the older man in disbelief. "You can't be serious. That old man?" He paused when he felt the dark eyes watching him become suddenly fierce and suppressed a shiver. Had the temperature just dropped?

"Careful, Charlie, old boy," Sirius said softly. "That's my Remus you're insulting." His eyes never wavered, even as Charlie returned the glare just as coolly.

"It's Tonks' Remus I'm insulting," the red-head returned. "That is the situation we hope to rectify, if you would kindly withdraw your claws long enough for us to do so." He eyed Sirius' stiff posture, fists clenched in the sheets beneath him and hair almost standing on end in anger.

By slow degrees, Sirius calmed himself, shoving that familiar dark fury deeper inside, somewhere beneath his curiosity to find out what this man wanted and what it had to do with their 'mutual problem'. For that matter, was their mutual problem what he thought? Sirius waited until he could return to his relaxed position before speaking.

"You want Tonks." It wasn't a question, rather a statement, thrown out softly and falling to the bed between them as Charlie folded his hands together and sighed, leaning against the wall. This put the other man more than halfway on Sirius' bed but he couldn't bring himself to say anything about it. Whatever Charlie might say had to be important. If it wasn't, there was always the wand Sirius kept close at hand. Surely a suitable punishment could be thought up in the moments it took to say the spell.

"Yes, though not as long as you have Remus, I wager." Charlie grinned slightly and sent Sirius a wistful look. "After all, you two knew back in school. I didn't even meet Tonks until three years ago."

Sirius shook his head. He didn't have time for games. Though his time stretched long and empty before him, Sirius was sure there were better things to do than to empathize with a half-grown whelp, even if he did have the body of a full-grown male. His hands were itching for either that pillow or his wand. He didn't know but he'd put either to good use. Better still just to get rid of the nuisance.

"Yet you still call her by her last name? Come back when you've grown up a little, boy." Sirius stood from the bed in a single smooth movement and strode to the door, fully intending on sitting outside again. At least, in the rain, no one bothered him as much as all this.

"You're an idiot, Sirius, and I do so mean that in the best way."

Sirius paused in his step, turning just enough to see Charlie, standing next to the bed, giving him a glare any Slytherin would be proud to call their own. His little cousin probably had one just like it. Sirius was sure his mother had. In any case, Sirius had to keep himself from responding as habit bade him - that is, grab his wand and set some sort of hex on the man. Something sticky, uncomfortable and long-lasting.

Charlie wasn't through yet. "You think that just because you come back, everything is going to fall into place for you? You've had it so bad that you deserve you happy ending?" Charlie shook his head fiercely. "You weren't here. Harry deserves happiness. He watched you die. And Dumbledore, Bill and Fleur, and plenty of his old schoolmates. Then he killed Voldemort himself. He was just a child and he came through. He deserves happiness. Remus deserves happiness, and Tonks. Draco, Ron and Hemione. They've earned it." Charlie looked up, glaring at Sirius, eyes flashing. "What have you done that so great?"

Sirius said nothing for a moment, then leaned casually against the wall next to the door. "What have you?" he asked, watching the red-head carefully.

Charlie shook his head. "Nothing," he replied. "I haven't done anything. I'm just like you." He walked forward slowly, stopping a mere foot from the older man. "That's why I'm here. People like us," Charlie continued, "have to fight for our happiness, because we've done nothing so good as to have it handed to us."

Sirius remained silent and the two stared at each other, each gauging the others response, analyzing it for all possible positives and finding far too many negatives. A gambler with an ace up his sleeve would fold on these cards.

"Oh, Remy! You are so cute!"

The words echoed through the door and both men grimaced. There was no question about who said them or what they meant. Charlie's gaze turned almost painful.

"That is _not_ how she should talk! She's not even herself anymore and one day, she'll realize it," Charlie said softly, almost to himself. "The same is true for Remus. It will end and it will be too late by then. For either one of us. I don't want Tonks on the rebound. I want her the way she is, the way she's supposed to be."

Words filtered through the door, growing faint as distance separated Charlie and Sirius from the couple walking down the hall. "That's why we need to help each other," Charlie was almost whispering now. "That's why Harry called me here. Even if you don't help me," he continued, though Sirius gave no appearance of listening, "I'll do it on my own and Remus will be left out in the cold."

"Are you still talking?" Sirius interrupted, finally pulling his stare from the door. "Either shut up and piss off or tell me the bloody plan!" He held out his hand, waiting for Charlie to take it. He grinned and the two shook, the firm grip of hands confirming the agreement. Sirius smiled. Yes, he would have to remember to thank Harry for all this.

**A/N: Aaaannnnnnnd Cut! Okay that's all folks! Oh by the way, I completely blame all these reveiwers for my rather hyper Civilizations class. Thanks everyone: Magical Winry, Queen Goagirl Zeppelin, Jedi Queen 001, claire2007, PaddyWaddy, A Serius Fan, rekahneko, and Angel Storm 22. And I'm sure my teacher thanks you too. Pfft. Right. Heh.**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello, hello! Long time, no… write, I guess. But it's been a busy few weeks. I've had finals, strange since last time I wrote I just finished mid-terms…but whatever! I passed and, best of all, I graduated! From my junior college, that is. sigh A few more years to go yet. Plus, I just moved out of my folks' house and into an apartment. Yup, yup, busy, busy!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, so we know it's not mine. Why state the obvious?**

**Chapter Seven**

"_Are you still talking?" Sirius interrupted, finally pulling his stare from the door. "Either shut up and piss off or tell me the bloody plan!" He held out his hand, waiting for Charlie to take it. He grinned and the two shook, the firm grip of hands confirming the agreement._

The next morning found Sirius sitting at the table, attempting to eat a bowl of cereal. It was a difficult task when all he wanted to do was overturn the bowl on Tonks' head, but he held himself back. Somehow, he doubted his new 'partner' would appreciate the move, so he choked down the bran and visualized himself practicing various torture techniques on the bright haired auror.

Today, Charlie would put the plan into action. Sirius snorted to himself. 'Plan' was a rather grand term for the idea. They were going shopping. Apparently, it was Tonks and Remus' anniversary or something and the girl was excited about buying a gift. Charlie had somehow managed to get himself invited for the trip. Sirius didn't care how. It gave him time alone with Remus. That was what was important for _his_ plan.

"Tonks," Charlie called, poking his head through the door. Sirius took grim satisfaction in the faintly sick look the other man tried to hide behind a smile. "We'd better get going. Auror stuff," he added, nodding to Remus.

"Yup, yup!" Tonks said happily as she jumped off Remus' lap and strode to the door, waving to the werewolf. "Bye, bye, Remy!" she called in a sickeningly sweet voice just before the front door closed.

"Merlin!" Sirius burst out, unable to hold in his disgust any longer. "How can you stand that? It's enough to give you cavities."

Remus glared at him. "Sirius, I am well aware that you don't like her, but she is your family and my girlfriend. This hostility you have for her needs to stop," he said standing from his chair and stretching.

Sirius watched the other man, slightly distracted by the flex of muscle beneath the thin fabric of his former lover's shirt, then snorted and pushed his chair back as he stood. He carried his bowl to the sink and dumped the remaining contents out, rinsing it a little before putting it down. He then turned and locked his gaze onto Remus. "Did you see that?" he asked. Remus looked up at him, a questioning tilt to his finely shaped brows. _Focus, Black_, Sirius told himself. Out loud, he said, "The cereal went into the sink, not Tonks' head.

Now," he continued, stalking closer to Remus as he spoke, edging the other man back, "from everything that you know about me, and you know a lot, is that something I would normally do when someone I despise is only feet away?" Remus was backed up against the table and Sirius put his hands down on either side of the shorter man, trapping him. "My 'hostility' is not going to stop. I wouldn't drop it even if I wanted to, but," his voice grew steadily softer, "know that the only reason she walked away without any sort of attack from me is not because she's my family, and certainly not because she has the incredible fortune of dating you."

With each word spoken, Sirius had inched closer and Remus leaned back more and more until he was almost lying on the table, his feet threatening to slip from beneath him from the awkward angle. Sirius smirked down at him, vulnerable and concentrating so hard on trying to remain standing. Never let it be said that Sirius Black let opportunity pass him by. Sirius slid an arm around Remus' shoulders and pulled the smaller man closer. He felt the protesting hands shoving at his chest, but ignored them in favor of pressing their lips together. Remus' lips were cool and firm, just as he remembered. They were also unresponsive and Sirius set out to make him come alive.

He slid his hand up, burying his fingers in the soft strands of hair at Remus' neck and making sure that the other man couldn't move away. Then, Sirius tilted his head, bringing his fingers up to brush against Remus' ear. It had always been a sensitive spot. He smiled at the expected gasp and slipped his tongue into Remus' mouth. It felt like coming home. For so long, so long, he'd been gone. Those two years may have passed like a day to him, but days had stretched into years with every time he'd seen Tonks all over his werewolf.

Remus still wouldn't return his kiss. That wouldn't do. Sirius caressed the other man's tongue with his own, reveling in the shiver that he could feel race through the smaller body beneath him. Remus wasn't immune to him, no matter how much he pretended to want to be. Sirius pulled back slightly, enough to take in the flushed cheeks and darkened eyes of the man beneath him. He smirked again and brushed a kiss against Remus' cheek. Remus' hands were digging into his shoulders, as if the man couldn't decide whether to push Sirius away, or to pull him closer.

He loosened the fingers and stepped back, leaving Remus on his own to regain his balance. "Tonks walked away free and clear, Remus," Sirius continued, as though he had not just kissed the man in the middle of a very public kitchen in a house full of very observant people with the annoying habit of being exactly where they were not wanted at exactly the time they were not wanted, "because of you." He shrugged. "If she'd been sitting on the chair to your left, rather than on your lap, I can't be sure what would have happened."

He grinned and pressed a soft kiss to the tip of each finger he held in his hand. Remus was still supported by the table and watching him with eyes that betrayed every emotion, every bit of confusion, that Sirius could guess was flitting through his mind. "Remember that then, eh," he suggested as he dropped Remus' hand, turned and walked from the kitchen, decidedly more happy than he had been since coming back.

Just outside the door, Sirius stopped short, looking down with faint surprise at Harry. The flush that had settled on the teen's cheeks told him that he'd seen what had happened. Sirius rolled his eyes and smiled, turning Harry around and pushing him down the hall to the study. Closing the door behind them, Sirius turned to face the shorter boy. "Well?" he asked after what seemed to him an abnormally long silence.

Harry turned facing him and smiling. Sirius was surprised for a minute. "You got back together with Remus already?" he asked his grin widening.

Sirius shook his head. "No."

Harry frowned. "But back in the kitchen…" he trailed off. "Oh. Oh, then… you really shouldn't be doing that in such a public place."

Sirius studied the blush that had returned to Harry's face, then grinned. "I see. Got caught a few times in there yourself, huh?" He laughed when Harry's blush worsened turning his face red to his neck.

"Yeah, well, count yourself lucky Ron wasn't the one who found you," Harry replied, sighing and crossing his arms over his chest. "I swear, for two weeks he couldn't even look at me without choking on his own breath."

Sirius laughed and threw an arm around Harry, pulling him against his side in a hug. "Thanks for the advice kiddo," he said, "and thanks for the help. Just between you and me though," he whispered, leaning closer to Harry's ear, "after two years together in the Gryffindor dorms without being caught even by your father, I think we'll be fine."

Harry grinned up at his godfather. "Yeah, well, one time and you were caught by me. I think your chances are becoming smaller by the minute."

Sirius glanced over his shoulder at a faint sound before turning his head back to Harry and sticking out his tongue in a childish way. "Yes, and we'll forget about that now won't we, seeing as my cousin seems to want a word with you." Out of Draco's view, he waggled his brows suggestively and laughed at the blush that rose instantly to the boy's cheeks.

Letting Harry go and turning on his heel, Sirius faced Draco. He took in the surprise that showed on the blond's face for a moment as his eyes flicked between Sirius and Harry. Then Sirius grinned brightly and tussled his hair, destroying the style he knew his cousin had spent nearly an hour trying to achieve. Laughing to himself and satisfied at the damage he'd done, Sirius walked past the sputtering teen and through the door closing it behind him. He felt almost like whistling as he headed up the stairs, a feeling that he hadn't had in at least … well, he actually didn't want to put a time frame to it.

Ron was standing at the top of the stairs, apparently having just left Hermione's room if his rumpled appearance said anything, and it did. Loudly, annoying, and using a megaphone. Sirius grinned up at him, armed now with full knowledge of the exact revenge to pay the scamp back for calling his whole family down on him. Sirius met Ron halfway up the stairs. "Hey, Ron," he said, catching the red-heads attention, "Harry said he needed to talk to you about something important." Sirius shrugged, his look of innocent confusion never faltering. "Anyway, he's waiting for you in the study."

Ron glared disbelievingly at him. "Really? And when did you two start talking again?" he asked.

Sirius bristled at the whelp's tone but kept up the mask. "Oh, about twenty minutes ago." He shrugged. "Well, go or not, I really don't care." He started back up the stairs and muttered, loud enough for Ron to hear, "I didn't think the Chudley Cannons were all that important anyway."

Behind him, Sirius could hear Ron thump down the rest of the stairs and down the hall. He smiled and leaned casually against the wall, listening. A few moments later a scream of terror echoed through the house and he resumed his walk to his room, giving into the urge and whistling cheerfully. Hermione's door opened and the bushy haired teen stuck her head out looking down the hall in confusion. Sirius grinned at her as he walked into his own room. With any luck, Ron would be so traumatized he wouldn't be able to talk for a month. Finally, a good use for his cousin.

**A/N: That's all for now. So sorry for the wait and I'll try to hurry with the next chapter. Anyhow, thanks to rekahneko, claire2007, Queen Goagirl Zeppelin, Slasharific, MagicalWinry, JediQueen0100, and ComplicatedDarknesS0103 for the reveiws. You all are great!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Alright, next chapter. Let's do this thing! Ha!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, and there's certainly no money in it.**

**Immortal Fear**

**Chapter 8**

Sirius sat cross legged on Harry's bed, waiting for the younger brunet to come back up to his room. He had been inches from his own room, had had his hand on the doorknob and turned it when he realized he had a problem. And not the kind he enjoyed. So he had turned on his heel and headed straight for Harry's room, sitting on his bed and waiting. With Ron having interrupted his and Draco's little snog-fest, Sirius figured it couldn't be long now.

Only minutes later, Harry strode into the room, shouting over his shoulder at someone behind him. "It's your own damn fault anyway so stop hitting your head! You're ruining a perfectly good door!" He slammed the bedroom door in the smallest sign of anger and sighed. "Wanker," Sirius heard him mumble as Harry turned, shoving a hand into his hair and groaning.

"Hey, Harry," Sirius started and watched in amusement as his godson jumped a foot and stifled a shriek.

"Bloody Hell, Sirius!" Harry cried as he pressed his hand over his heart, probably trying to slow the heavy beating. "Are you trying to kill me?" He stumbled over and fell back onto the bed, covering his eyes and groaning. "By the way, that was a real bastard thing to do to Ron."

Sirius shrugged. "I couldn't let such a ripe opportunity pass by without taking some kind of advantage for it. It's your buddy's own fault he can't see a trap before it quite literally bites him in the arse."

Harry waved a hand in his direction. "Was it really necessary, though, to ruin the first time alone I've had with Draco since you got here? That was the truly cruel thing about it all, and it was just getting god, too."

Sirius grunted his disgust. "Just a tad bit too much information, Harry, now can we focus on what's really important? I've got a problem."

Harry nodded, not bothering to uncover his eyes as he said, "Yes, well, you have many, Sirius, but that's what therapists are for."

"Ooh, snappy comeback, Harry. Out of curiosity, did my cousin's sense of humor enter you before or after his cock?" Sirius responded.

Harry sat up abruptly, his face the most brilliant shade of red Sirius had seen since Hogwarts. He was spluttering too, something the older man found quite amusing and allowed himself to be distracted for a few brief moments before clapping his hands together. "Focus, Harry, focus!" he demanded. "It was only a joke."

Even with his reassuring words, it still took Harry a little more than five minutes before he could communicate properly, during which time Sirius explained his dilemma. "I haven't got the money to pay for Remus' present. The ministry froze my accounts after your third year, then gave you the Black fortune after I died."

Harry shrugged. "Not a problem, Sirius. You can have it back," Harry responded easily.

Sirius shook his head. "It's not that easy. Even if I wanted it, which I don't mind you, I'm still a wanted felon. To top it all off, I'm dead. I couldn't get that money back if I tried."

Harry looked quietly thoughtful. "I see," he muttered. Then he nodded, as if suddenly coming to a decision. "I'll just give you…"

Sirius growled. "Don't even think about finishing that sentence, Harry," he snarled.

The shorter man nodded and fell quiet again, as both man thought about and discarded several possible solutions before Harry lit on one that made only slightly more sense than any other he'd come up with. "How about getting a job?" he suggested, his tone light as though his expected an instant refusal.

At another time, that was exactly what Harry would have received, but at this time, Sirius actually considered the option and sighed when he hit that inevitable road bump. "But I'm a dead wanted murderer, Harry," he repeated.

Harry grinned. "Not in the muggle world. The only thing they know about you was a brief little article in some paper almost five years ago. No one's going to remember that, especially since you look so different now." Sirius still looked doubtful, so Harry added, "You could change your name a bit, to sound less…wizard."

Sirius stared down at his feet. He'd never had a job before. That actually made him sound quite pathetic as he was nearing forty, but he'd simply never had the time for one. Neither had he had the desire, need or even inclination for one, but that didn't really made at the moment. He now found himself in the position to finally get a job. "Right then, Harry," he said after several lengthy minutes of silence. "A job it is!"

The next few days found Sirius and Harry pouring through the classifieds in several muggle papers, finding and applying for the few jobs Sirius thought himself capable of doing, with Harry's approval and explanation of each. As the time until the party Tonks was planning for hers and Remus' anniversary shortened, Sirius began to get desperate. It was then that Harry suggested the convenience store.

"Convenience store?" Sirius repeated, somehow managing to sound both thoughtful and derisive.

"Yeah," Harry said, "it's this place that sells all sorts of random little stuff, like beer and snacks and condoms." Sirius raised his brow at the younger man and watched the blush rise high on his cheeks. "Well, you get the idea," Harry muttered. "Best of all, they hire about anyone so you'll definitely get a job. I mean, it doesn't pay much, but you're not really looking for a fortune, are you."

Sirius shrugged. "Alright then, Harry. Take me to it."

In less than an hour, Sirius found himself hired and standing behind a counter as a squat man with thinning hair gave him instructions on how to operate the thing he called a register. Sirius examined it with complete disinterest. When he was able to regurgitate the instruction back to the man perfectly, he was left on his own with the warning that a security camera was watching at all time.

Harry appeared and leaned on the counter. "Wow, good timing, huh?" he smiled. "For the only employee on duty to quit as soon as you walked in the door, talk about luck."

Sirius snorted. "Luck nothing. I wasn't taking any chances with this. You'd run out of this place like a bat out of hell too if a giant black dog no one else ever saw was haunting you here."

The younger brunet stared up at his godfather. "You're joking right?"

Sirius crossed his arms, looking down at Harry for a moment, before turning his gaze up to watch the monitor above him, seeming to examine the empty aisles of the store. "Maybe," he finally answered and refused to say another word about the subject, despite Harry's urging.

**A/N: Not much for now, but there you go. Before I forget, thanks to PaddyWaddy, Clieo, Jupiter13, itsasledgehammer, MagicalWinry, Your Mom Is My Heart (x3), yaeko, VampireBallerina, Slasharific, rekaneko, and claire2007 for the reviews. Believe me, they are greatly appreciated! **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Miss me? Sorry for the wait. I wanted to finish my Matchmakers story and got lazy when I did. I'm back now though, so read on!**

**Immortal Fear**

**Chapter Nine**

Sirius sighed wearily as he walked through the door, the slight bulge of what was left of his first month's pay in his jeans pocket offering only a little comfort, especially since his finger was still throbbing from getting it caught in the register. He was going to get the hang of that machine one day, damn it! He let the front door close with a soft click behind him and looked down at the box in his hands.

It wasn't big really, a few inches across either way, but in it was his gift for Remus. He couldn't remember having ever spent so much time and effort choosing a gift for anyone, but it needed to be perfect. It had to be if his and Charlie's plan were to ever advance beyond occasional shopping trips and stolen kisses.

Soft footsteps down the hall alerted Sirius to a presence other than his own and he looked up, catching sight of Remus. The other man paused uncertainly in his tracks, looking at Sirius warily. He really couldn't blame him. In the weeks following The Kiss, they had rarely even seen each other, much less spoken. It had seemed to Sirius that the gods were conspiring to keep them apart.

Tonks was never far from Remus, always managing to interrupt just as Sirius would open his mouth to speak. Sirius would usually settle for meaningful looks and stalking away so it made sense that the other man would think him angry. He did take a bit of delight knowing that Charlie was never far from Tonks, always managing to interrupt just as she would lean forward to kiss her boyfriend. She would pout and the two would inevitably begin some kind of argument, leaving Remus standing in the middle, escape both desirable and unattainable.

Sirius looked around and was pleased to find that no one else was in the hall. Understandable. It was nearly three in the morning and normal wizards were sleeping at this time. He and Remus stared at each other for silent moments. It was strange. All this time, Sirius had been trying to get his former lover alone, to talk to him, to hold him or kiss him, to watch him uninterrupted by loud-mouthed and loud-haired cousins. Now, they finally were alone, a miracle considering his housemates, and anything and everything he'd wanted to say just disappeared, the words floating away without so much as a good-bye, the bastards.

"I, uh, noticed you'd been coming home late," Remus said softly, casting a glance up the stairs before motioning Sirius to follow him. The brunet thought that was rather a useless gesture. The man could have turned and walked away at that point, without having said so much as a word and Sirius would have been right behind him. The shorter man led the way to the study, closing the door behind them, before turning to face Sirius.

Sirius noticed the small jump Remus couldn't stop when he turned to find him so near. It wasn't his fault. If Remus didn't always smell so good, if it hadn't been so long since they'd been alone, maybe Sirius would have been able to move beyond the sphere of his former lover's warmth. As it was, impossible. It took all his concentration not to just jump him, forget putting any kind of distance between him and Remus.

"Sirius," Remus started uncertainly, "I know it's not my right anymore, but I just, I wanted to make sure everything was all right with you."

Sirius leaned back, resting lightly on a nearby table and watching Remus' face closely, noting the teeth chewing nervously at a lip pink from the efforts and how the other man's gaze seemed never to fall on him.

"You haven't been sleeping much and I haven't seen you eat hardly at all the last few weeks. I'm starting to get worried." He brushed absently at the hair that fell against his brow, probably unaware that Sirius had been aching to do it for him since they'd met in the hall. "Are you alright?"

Sirius was distracted, caught up in staring at the subtle beauty and unconscious grace of his companion, all the same attributes that attracted him to Remus in the first place, that he heard the question as if through a fog. The answer, the one he'd planned to give had anyone ever bothered to ask him this particular question, came to his lips readily, as practiced as a line in a play, familiar as Juliet's inquiry to the night and the introduction of Hogwarts: A History, which was really as far as he'd ever gotten in that particular book. "I'm fine."

So simple, so understated, so unbelievable. It didn't really surprise Sirius at all when Remus sighed doubtfully, walking away from the door to sit wearily in a chair near the desk. "Sirius, I know you don't want to hear this from me, but you really should start taking better care of yourself. If not for you, do it for Harry." Remus rubbed a hand over his eyes. "He's in a delicate stage now that you've come back and if something were to happen to you, it might bring him to the edge."

Sirius felt a sudden surge of anger. Remus was trying to blackmail him? He hadn't been eating, he hadn't been sleeping, and he knew even Harry was beginning to doubt the wisdom of helping Sirius find a job. All this was because of the overtime he'd taken on just to be able to afford to buy Remus a gift for some stupid anniversary that mattered to him only because it wasn't his and Remus'. Here he was, the man for whom Sirius was giving out so much effort at a job that would never take him anywhere or restore the fortune he'd once had, trying to force him by trickery.

A small part of him knew that Remus had no way of knowing what Sirius had been doing with his nights, but that small part was strangely remiss in it's calming influence as Sirius crossed the room. He knelt in front of the other man, placing his box on the floor to grasp the armrests on either side of Remus.

"I've known darkness, Remus. Outside, when you pray for the sun, for some glimmer or speck of light just to know that you weren't alone in the world." Remus was staring at Sirius wide-eyed as he listened, no longer avoiding his gaze but meeting it as if with some morbid fascination that would allow him no other choice.

Sirius continued, drawing closer with each word, drawn to the light that shone from the man he still loved. "Inside, alone with the horrible knowledge that no one cares, no one notices, no one will help; despair so deep you drowned without ever having the comfort of death, just choking and gasping for air that never seemed enough to fill your lungs; madness that waited on the edges of your mind for a weak moment to take you away, to lure you into the pleasure and torture of insanity."

Only an inch separated him from Remus. He could feel the other man's breath moving quickly but gently across his face, noted the rise and fall of his chest and the flutter of his lashes every time he blinked and still Sirius refused to break the connection of his gaze with Remus. "None of these feelings are as all-consuming at the emotions that overwhelm me anytime I am with you, the joy and the light you bring simply by standing there and the anger and the horrible pain when I realize that it's not me standing next to you."

He kissed Remus then, pleasantly surprised when Remus opened his mouth for him, even if it was only the smallest amount. He slid his hands up Remus' arms, to cup his face gently, brushing fingers over cheeks and brow before treading them through fine strands of hair. He felt Remus' hands waver for a moment then fall to rest on his shoulders, holding tightly to his jacket as if afraid that Sirius would disappear. Sirius understood the feeling entirely.

He slid his tongue across Remus' lips, listened carefully to the slight whimper the move elicited and thrilled in the tremor that the other man couldn't hide. He went deeper, delighting in the warmth of his mouth and the tongue that brushed shyly against his, memorizing the taste and feel of Remus, storing it away to get him through the time that passed between now and the next moment that Remus couldn't prop his honor up as a guard between them.

When he ran out of air, he released Remus mouth, kissing and caressing and mapping with his lips the planes of his face and the texture of each patch of skin. Only when he'd done this did Sirius return to Remus' mouth, placing soft kisses on lips slightly bruised from his first.

"Sirius," Remus murmured, and Sirius heard the regret that laced his name and knew that his time, this brief reprieve into the arms of his former lover, was nearly spent. "Sirius, I can't…" but the hands that still held tightly revealed the wish that he could.

"I know," Sirius whispered and leaned away, though it nearly killed him to do it. "I know you can't." He sighed and stood slowly, wishing for just a few more minutes and knowing that the time to wait had come again. He should have known. He'd spent most of his life waiting after all.

He reached out and smoothed Remus' hair, mussed as it was by the same hand. "I still love you," he confessed quietly. "I'm not sure it will ever stop and I know that I never want it to." His hand fell away and he stuck it in his pocket, fingering the notes he'd worked so hard to earn, just for Remus. "Even if you say you hate me or you never leave her, I think I couldn't stop this or change it." Sirius gave Remus a grin that he knew the other couldn't see. "Even if you say you have no right to worry about me, it still makes me happy that you do."

He dug a hand through his hair and walked to the door. "I don't think I'll be well enough for your party tomorrow, but I did get you a gift. It's on the floor there, by your feet," he motioned then opened the door. "I hope you like it and give my apologies to Tonks. I lost her gift on the way here." That was a lie, and Sirius didn't particularly care that they both knew it. He closed the door behind him, not bothering to see if Remus had picked up the present, and went upstairs.

In his own room, the door locked, Sirius sank down against the wall and let his head fall back. He stared at the ceiling in silence, at once thankful for and hating the few minutes he'd had with Remus, unable to decide if this would help or hurt the situation. One thing was certain, he concluded as he watched the play of the moonbeams on his walls. He needed to talk to Charlie.

**A/N: Mmmhmm. Okay, that was a good place to end. Don't forget to review and here're my thanks for the lovely ones left on the last chapter. Thanks to Yukiko T., yourmomismyheart, MagicalWinry, PaddyWaddy, padfoot-girl111, raiderettedrum, rekahneko, and Fiona-Potter. Even thanks to Skippy Agogo for the chapter two review, even if the story wasn't to your liking. It gave me a reason to rant to my co-workers for a few days, which I'm sure they enjoyed. (heh.) Have a good time until the next chapter! **


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Hello, hello

**A/N: Hello, hello. I know, long wait. I've been moving so I beg your forgiveness! Heh. Phrases like that amuse me.**

**Immortal Fear**

**Chapter 10**

"And then, POW! She hit me!" Charlie exclaimed, leaning back on Sirius' bed where he sat in cross-legged comfort while relating the story. Sirius listened with only half an ear as he tried to balance a quill on the tip of his nose. "Can you believe it?" the red-head continued. "It wasn't even a slap, like a normal girl would do. She just balled up her fist and hit. It was a fist-slap!" Then he sighed. "Merlin, I love that woman."

Sirius rolled his eyes, silently applauding himself as the quill stayed upright on his nose for a full ten seconds before falling to the side. "You attempted to kiss the girl, in front of God and everybody, including her fiancé, at her own anniversary party," he said and tossed the feather aside. "Were you expecting her to grab your shoulders and say 'Take me, I'm yours'? Bit of wishful thinking, that."

"Hey, it's been known to happen!" Charlie said, leaning forward and grabbing his feet. Sirius still hadn't managed to figure out how the other man had taken the bed and left him with the uncomfortable chair. "Well, not to me, but to someone, I'm sure. And anyway," he continued, waving off his own failure, "how're things between you and your furry friend?"

Sirius shrugged and dropped the quill on the table as he stood. He walked to the closet, pulling his shirt off as he went. "Same as usual," he said and reached for the tee he always wore to work.

He was pulling it over his head when he heard Charlie say, "There's no use hiding it, old man. I talked to the kid. He told me what happened."

Sirius yanked the shirt the rest of the way down, pulling a bit more hardly than necessary, and said, "Yeah, right. Harry wouldn't say anything."

"Nice that you trust your little friends so much," Charlie said, as if commenting on the weather. It was with a careful eye that he watched Sirius, and the other man knew it, so he maintained his casual attitude as he pulled a blue button up shirt from the closet. "And you're right. The kid wouldn't tell me anything." Charlie stood from the bed and stretched his arms over his head as he yawned. "But I have to wonder, why would you want to keep your little interludes with Remy from your dear partner in crime, hm?"

Sirius stopped moving, his hands frozen in the process of buttoning his second button as he met Charlie's eyes, trying to determine if the red-head was bluffing. He decided there was just a bit too much smugness in that gaze to be bullshit and sighed before continuing dressing. "Apparently, I put a bit too much trust in them," he muttered.

Charlie grinned triumphantly. "Listen, I can understand wanting to keep it to yourself," he said, "but if things are going well, I need to know." He pulled out the desk chair and sat in it backwards, resting his arms on the back of the seat and turning his full attention to Sirius. "Spill," he commanded.

Sirius shrugged and moved to stand in front of the mirror. He still wasn't used to seeing himself with short hair. It just looked too… muggle. He ran his hand through the black strands, making them stand on end. "We kissed," he confessed. "And I was going to tell you before you came running in here, taking over my bed and going on and on about your fist-slap."

Charlie clapped, a grin spread wide across his freckled face. "Good job," he said, and Sirius could tell he meant it. He had to respect the younger man for it too. Merlin knew, if the situation was reversed and Charlie was getting somewhere with Tonks while he stood off in the background without even a glance from Remus, Sirius wouldn't have been able to congratulate him.

"This does present a problem, though," the red head continued. Sirius glanced at him, brow raised in a silent command to go on. "If Tonks finds out about it, the effect on her would be the same as if Remus had left her."

"So?" Sirius shrugged, smoothing his hair back and glancing at his watch. Harry had given it to him, saying that all muggles wore them, and Sirius had gotten into the habit of checking the thing for the time, even when he carried a perfectly good wand, without ministry knowledge of course.

"So?" Charlie huffed. "Have you forgotten the deal? Tonks has to be the one to leave, not the other way around!" He shook he head and jumped up from the bed to pace through the room. "If she finds out about you and Lupin, it'd break her heart!"

Sirius turned a careful gaze to the other man. "What are you saying?" he asked, measuring his tone as a chef would flour. "Are you telling me to back off? To leave Remus alone just because you can't succeed on your end?" That wasn't right, and it certainly wasn't fair. With each word, Sirius forced his anger a little more under control, but it wasn't easy by any means.

Charlie shook his head. "No," he answered, watching Sirius with eyes that said he understood perfectly how he was feeling. "No, that wouldn't help anyone. You just need to be more careful. If I could find out about it, imagine how easy it would be for Tonks to."

Sirius forced himself to calm down and grabbed his jacket. He had to be at work for the night shift in thirty minutes. He stalked across the room, brushing by Charlie as he did and opened the door. He looked back at the red-head and nodded out, indicating that he should leave. Charlie shrugged and headed out, leaning back in just outside the door. "By the way," he commented easily, "before you go off on Harry again, Draco was the kid." With that as his parting shot, Charlie left.

Sirius stood quietly for a few minutes before following the other man down the hall. He understood what Charlie meant, of course, and the Marauder that still lived in him wouldn't allow him not to plan his revenge.

Several hours later found Sirius standing behind the counter, pulling bills from the register as he made change for a customer. He smiled politely as she thanked him and waved her out the door. A soft chuckle alerted his attention to another's presence and he turned, salesman's smile in place to see Harry and Draco standing near the magazine rack. "What I don't understand," Draco observed as he swept a disdainful glance over the selection, "is why you still work here when you've already reached your goal."

"What I don't understand is how you could bring yourself down from your throne long enough to set foot in here," he shot back and crossed his arms as he studied the screen showing images from the store's security cameras.

"As if I'd come here of my own will. Harry insisted and I wasn't about to let him go alone." Draco said and picked up a magazine to flip through the pages, apparently giving the two former Gryffindors time alone.

Sirius looked down at Harry and couldn't help the small smile at Harry's apologetic grin. "Actually," he confessed, "I was sort of wondering about that too. Why are you still working here?" he asked, running his hand along the counter. "We none of us need the extra money, and you've already got Remus' present. I don't see a reason to continue."

Sirius shrugged. "I don't hate it here. It's better than sitting in that house all day with nothing to do but think about the old days." He smiled at a customer who walked up to the counter, rang up the purchase and sent the portly man on his way before continuing. "Besides, it's rather fulfilling to be earning something for a change."

Draco snorted. "But this?" he asked and Sirius could hear the barely disguised laughter in his voice.

Harry sent him a quelling glare. "Forgive him, Sirius. He hasn't quite learned to behave in public."

"You have fun teaching me though, don't you, Harry, my pet," Draco winked at him and laughed at Harry's blush before turning back to his magazine.

Sirius rolled his eyes and he and Harry chatted for a time before Draco decided it was time to go home, nearly dragging the shorter boy away. Only the hum of the florescent light filled the silence in the store and Sirius busied himself with restocking the coolers. When he heard the bell over the door ring, he turned to greet the customer, not expecting to see Tonks wave cheerily in his direction.

"Wotcher, Sirius," she called and walked around the store a bit as he stood from his crouch and dusted off his knees. "So this is what you've been doing with all your time then. I'll admit I was curious." She continued to wander around the store, poking at some items, rubbing her hand over others, all the while making little comments that made him remember that, before she'd set her sights of Remus, she was someone whose company he genuinely enjoyed.

He didn't expect it when she turned suddenly to face him. The darkness inside that flared each time he saw her with Remus stirred a little, insisting that he say something spiteful and cruel, something to send her off, out of sight and mind, for the moment at least. He fought it and settled for a simple question.

"What?" he said cautiously after having endured several minutes of her close and silent scrutiny. It was like she was trying to read his mind. He hoped to Merlin that she couldn't. She'd find some memories that would be very hard to explain away.

"I've been thinking," she started slowly, dropping her gaze to her hands. Sirius fought off the strong urge to be a smartass. He might enjoy the show, but there were others who wouldn't, he reminded himself. "I know a wolf mates for life and everything." Sirius grimaced at the mention of Remus' other half and looked around, glad the store was its usual empty midnight self and Tonks continued, oblivious, of course. "So I thought that you, being his best mate since school and all, would know for sure. Did Remus ever meet the wolf's mate?"

Sirius could feel his jaw drop and his mind go blank as he stared at the woman. Her eyes, blue at the moment, were pleading with him, begging for an answer. More than anything in the world, he wanted to tell her that he was Remus' mate, that they were meant to be together and to leave the werewolf alone, but something kept him from doing it.

It was true that Remus had never actually confirmed that Sirius was the wolf's mate, though that hadn't stopped Sirius from believing it to be true, but that wasn't what was bothering him. An image of Charlie, congratulating him on his success, floated across his mind and he sighed, squashing beneath the toe of his honesty that dark bit inside him that urged him to lie, to take care of his own end and screw what Charlie wanted. "Remus always kept that part of his life from the rest of us, so I don't know," he confessed and ran his hand through his hair as Tonks sighed.

"Well, damn. I though you would if anyone did." She smiled, though it lacked a little of the brightness that usually seemed to pop out. "It's just sometimes, I feel like its not me he's thinking about when we're together. Like he's gone off somewhere that I can't reach. If there's someone else he's supposed to be with, I don't want to get in the way of that, but I love him, you know?" She scratched at her head a little and smiled up at Sirius, who stood speechless behind the counter.

"Then again," she said brightly, "if there was someone else, you would know about it, hmm?" She clapped her hands together and grinned wider. "Well, then I just need to figure out what's bothering my Remy. You're a really good listener! I'll have to remember that. Thanks for the ear, mate!" she called as she left the store.

Sirius watched her leave. It couldn't be true. God, such that he was, couldn't be so cruel. Which meant that this definitely had not just happened. He absolutely refused to believe it had. He had not just become a confidant to the rival for his love. Nope, wasn't true. He shook his head and walked back to the coolers to finish stocking.

Denial is a powerful thing.

**A/N: Right, then. That's all for now. Thanks to muumuu122, PaddyWaddy, Claire2007, and Jupiter 13 for the reviews. I really appreciate the support, guys!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So shoot me! I'm sorry it took so long, but I actually like this story and my standards keep getting higher. Makes it harder for me to write, but so long as its good…**

**Disclaimer: Duh, not mine, and I wouldn't be so broke if I was getting any money from it.**

**Chapter Eleven**

It was raining again. Sirius liked the rain but it was rather annoying that it had caught him the first day he decided that walking to work would be more fun than riding the bus. He sighed and watched the rain drip from the edge of the overhang under which he'd taken cover. A glance at his watch showed that he had only ten minutes to get to work. Why had he agreed to cover this shift? It wasn't even his normal shift, but some daytime kid or other had called in and the boss had called him. Damn his overwhelming desire to escape the manor.

He sighed again, watching as the breath became a faint vapor rising up through the cooling air. Laughter from the other side of the street drew his gaze and he watched as a man, running as though trying to dodge raindrops, caught up to a woman holding an umbrella, pulling her close under the safety of the fabric and shaking his head. The woman laughed again as the rain hit her and she reached up as though to wipe water from her face. Then, with his arm still over her shoulder, the couple set off.

Sirius watched them until they rounded the corner, and shook his head. What was it about the rain that made muggles so romantic? Not that he wouldn't like to be sharing an umbrella with Remus right about now, but Sirius could positively _feel_ the love waves rolling off of those two. Merlin forbid he ever be that obvious. He shook his jacket out and caught sight of his watch from the corner of his eye. "Damn," he muttered and took a moment to prepare himself before launching himself into the rain and jogging the last three blocks to the store.

Darkness had fallen by the time Sirius' relief arrived at the store. "Later, Steven!" the guy called out as he left. Sirius didn't bother to answer to his muggle name, simply waved over his shoulder. The rain had lessened to a chill drizzle and Sirius pulled his jacket tighter as he set off to the bus stop. It had been some time since he'd arrived before dinner and he wondered absently if anyone would be surprised.

He'd only just decided to risk sitting on the bench when the bus pulled up and the door opened with a faint hiss. Sirius took his usual spot, near the middle with a good view out the window. The warmth inside the bus, however, fought with the coolness of the air outside, the resulting fog preventing him from seeing much of anything and he turned his attention to the passengers, his eyes finding and staying on two seated near the front.

It was obvious they were together in the way her head rested comfortably on his shoulder and his hand played slowly with the tips of her hair. The scene brought to mind the couple in the rain and Sirius sighed. He could be like that right now. If it wasn't for Tonks… That was a phrase that went through his head more often than he cared to admit, really. The bus pulled to his stop, and Sirius stood, nodding to the driver on his way out the doors.

The rain was still falling but Sirius didn't care to wait for it to stop and he started walking the last block to the manor. He was surprised when Ron met him halfway there, breathing hard and face red, even for a Weasley. "Have you seen Harry?" he asked, dispensing with any kind of greeting.

Sirius frowned. "I haven't. What's wrong?" A cold feeling that had nothing to do with the rain and everything to do with dread trickled down his spine. He tensed, waiting for a response.

"I don't know," the red-head replied, panic edging into his voice. "He's been fine lately, what with you coming back and everything. We left this morning for Diagon Alley and nothing was wrong. We thought he was with Malfoy, but when we came back, he was freaking out and Harry was gone!" He shook his head. "I swear, I've never seen him like that."

"Alright," Sirius said, fighting to stay calm. "Okay, I'll look this way and you go back that way. Check every corner and every alley, understand?" Ron nodded, not prepared to argue with such an authoritative tone and ran off, calling Harry's name as he did. Sirius, no longer worried about the rain, turned and ran, yelling for his god-son.

An hour passed. Then two, and his voice became hoarse. He stopped to catch his breath for the umpteenth time, cursing the passing of years that had robbed his ability to run for hours on end without rest. Sirius was about to start out again when he heard a muffled sound and saw movement from the corner of his eye. Cautiously, he moved closer, shuffling newspaper aside to reveal the tip of a familiar shoe.

He sighed with relief and knelt on the pavement, pulling away the rest of the paper. Wide green eyes darted left and right, as if searching for an escape. Harry's glasses were missing and his shirt was ripped at the shoulder. There wasn't the faintest hint of recognition in those eyes, but there was no mistaking that hair, messy as always, or that scar. Sirius grabbed his wrist and murmured calming noises when Harry tried to pull away. Slowly, the boy calmed and Sirius shifted to lift him onto his back, throwing Harry's arms over his shoulders and hooking his elbows around the boy's knees.

He rose, groaning with the effort and cursing his age again. He could feel the unnatural heat of fever seeping through his clothes from Harry, and was both thankful for it's warmth and alarmed by it's presence. How long had the boy been out here?

Sirius chewed his lip as he thought. He wasn't supposed to use magic too much as it would alert the ministry to his presence, and consequently to his survival. In all, not the best idea for someone still technically a criminal. Harry didn't seem to have his wand on him, something Sirius would be sure to scold him for as soon as the boy regained his senses, and the buses had stopped running half an hour ago.

He started back towards the manor, jogging more slowly than he liked but unable to move any faster. The best he could hope for was to run into someone else who was looking for Harry- Sirius was certain than Grimmauld Place stood empty tonight- and soon. He wasn't sure what was wrong with the boy, but it didn't take a doctor to know that wet clothes, cool air and a high fever didn't mix.

**A/n: That's all for now. I know it's not much but I wanted to let you all know I hadn't forgotten about it. Thanks to cyiusblack, bsblover17, claire2007, Jupiter 13, MagicalWinry, PrincessxofxthexAsylum, Norwegian Eyes (x2), rekahneko, DanuMarie, and pacifish for the reviews. They're wonderful so keep them coming!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: So, so, so sorry for the wait!**

**Chapter 12**

In life, events occur that no one can really prevent, that are not really the fault of any one person. Of course, he didn't walk away from Hogwarts with the same high scores that Remus did, but no one would call Sirius stupid. He knew this but he still couldn't help the dark anger that flared to life when he saw Draco Malfoy.

As soon as the boy entered the room, Sirius was up, grabbing the collar of his shirt and slamming the blond to the wall. "What did you do?" he growled slowly through clenched teeth. His fist tightened in Draco's shirt and Sirius shook the boy when he didn't answer immediately.

"Nothing," Draco cried, hardly looking concerned that a taller, angry wizard was threatening him when Harry was lying passed out only feet from him. "I swear! I didn't do anything," he protested again and Sirius ignored that the panic he'd been feeling for the better part of the night was reflected in the younger man, both in his face and his words.

Remus put a hand gently on Sirius' arm. "Let him go," he ordered softly. Sirius didn't pay attention, barely having heard him, was in fact on the brink of growling outright, and Remus could almost see the dog in him bristling. Draco's eyes grew wider and his gaze kept flicking back to Harry. "Please," Remus begged more softly.

Slowly, Sirius looked over his shoulder at the other man. Remus was standing close, so much closer than he'd been in days, and Sirius could see the dampness forming at the corner of his eyes. He froze, not noticing when Draco started struggling against his fists, and stared. Remus was crying.

By small degrees, Sirius loosened his grip. Free, Draco shot around him to the bed, falling to his knees as he ran his hands over Harry's unresponsive face. Sirius turned to watch, still not ready to believe that the teen had nothing to do with what had happened to his godson. Remus stood by his side for a moment before walking over to place calming hands on Draco's shoulders. Sirius didn't miss when he lifted a hand to wipe discreetly at his eyes.

It was rare that Remus cried, and things were really bad when he did. That worried Sirius almost as much as Harry's condition. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. He watched as Remus moved to sit at Harry's desk chair, but Draco remained on the floor. For the next hour, no one moved. Then, a door slammed downstairs and Sirius heard feet tramping up the staircase. Shortly, the door burst open, admitting Ron into the room, followed quickly by Hermione and Tonks. Charlie came in last, the strain of worry obvious in the dark circles under his eyes.

"Thank God, you found him," Hermione couldn't hide her relief. She stood next to the bed and placed a hand on Harry's forehead, frowning as she felt his still high temperature. Ron said nothing, apparently not trusting himself to talk, and dropped to the floor to lean against the wall near the closet. After several moments, Hermione joined him, dropping her head to his shoulder with a sigh.

Tonks moved to sit on the desk, smiling softly in an effort to appear strong when Remus glanced at her. It was a joke. Sirius could see the worry lines from across the room. Charlie chewed on his thumbnail as he leaned against the wall near Sirius, obviously unsure of what was happening and of how to respond to it. It struck him then that the others in the room seemed to be following a routine. "I take it this has happened before," he remarked.

Sirius was awarded with more than one nod of confirmation. "Do you remember those episodes I told you about when you…er…came back?" Ron asked, rubbing his hand soothingly over Hermione's hair, though Sirius suspected it was more for his own comfort than for his girlfriend's. He nodded and the red-head continued. "Well, this would be one." He sighed deeply and dug his fingers into his hair.

Hermione lifted her head to look at him appraisingly before patting his chest. Ron nodded slightly and Hermione picked up the story. "We're not really sure what happens. One minute, he's fine and the next he's gone. Oh, he's still here," she waved a hand in the boy's direction, "but his mind isn't. It's like he's seeing something that no one else can, and he reacts to it."

"We think it has something to do with his fight with Voldemort," Draco put in coldly. Sirius looked back at the blond. He was still on the floor, in a position that had to have become uncomfortable at least thirty minutes ago, his fingers playing softly with the ends of Harry's hair. That he was still worried was obvious, but he looked as helpless as the rest of them. "I ask him about it but he can't answer."

"Can't or won't?" Sirius asked, genuinely curious. When one lived in a world where magic could do nearly anything, it was an important distinction.

Draco shrugged, his fingers pausing for just a moment. "I don't know," and Sirius could tell he hated to admit it. "You know how Harry is when he doesn't want to tell you something. He may as well be under a spell."

Hermione nodded her agreement. "I've tested him, but I can't find any spells. That doesn't necessarily mean there isn't one. Voldemort had years of practice and only a fool would claim to see through all his tricks." She sighed. She was good but she wasn't a fool.

Tonks scooted back on the desk, bringing her legs up to sit cross-legged. "He won't let the aurors run any tests on him though," she put in. "I think the treatment they gave him after the war put a bad taste in his mouth."

Remus nodded. "I can't say I blame him. They wanted to lock him up in St. Mungo's."

Sirius frowned. "Wouldn't they be able to help him there?" he asked, and clamped his mouth shut at the looks of pure fury shot his way. There was definitely more than one.

"Has being dead destroyed any small bit intelligence you may have possessed?" Draco bit out, his fingers still just brushing Harry's flushed cheek. "They didn't want to keep him with the other patients. They didn't want to treat him."

"They wanted to shut him in. There's an entire building reserved for the insane! No visitors, no chance of release. We never would have seen him again!" Ron nearly yelled and Sirius could see how tense the teen was though Hermione was whispering softly to him.

Remus cleared his throat. "As I'm sure you both recall," he pointed out, "Sirius has… not been with us these last few years. He can't be expected to know what has happened in his absence." Sirius sent him a thankful look as the two teens visibly calmed.

"Why would the mediwitches not want to treat him?" Sirius chanced asking after another long silence. "Hasn't he earned that much?"

Charlie sighed even as he nodded his agreement. "He's served his purpose," the red-head explained, though saying the words out loud brought him more than one glare of anger. "We don't need a hero once the villain is taken care of. You should know," he added bitterly. "You were still here when Fudge and the _Prophet _turned nearly the entire wizarding world against Harry for suggesting that Voldemort was back, even though they'd all been singing his praises only months before. Never mind that he was right."

Silence fell again, the only sound in the room the steady breathing of those gathered anxiously watching the boy on the bed. But Sirius had one more question. "What did they do to him in St. Mungo's?" he asked softly. No one answered. More firmly, he tried again, this time focusing on Remus. "What was the treatment that put a bad taste in his mouth?"

Remus didn't turn to look at him, didn't even raise his head, and Sirius thought he wouldn't receive an answer at all. So he was vaguely surprised when Tonks finally spoke up, relaying the events in broken sentences that the others apparently could force themselves to say. "Bellatrix Lestrange was more talented than any of us gave her credit for," she started, wrapping her arms around her legs and putting her chin on top of her knees.

Ron snorted. "I just thought she was a crackpot," he confessed and Sirius could hear the anger and self-derision in the words.

Tonks nodded and continued. "She discovered a way to take the magic from a wizard," she announced softly, then waited for his reaction. It didn't take long.

"What?" Sirius frowned, struggling to control his voice in the hospital-like atmosphere of the room. "How is that possible?"

She shrugged, looking at him for a moment before letting her gaze drop back to Harry. "We don't know. We've seen the effects of it, so we know it happened. And more than once."

Hermione spoke then. "Remember Rita Skeeter? And old Professor Slughorn."

"Dean Thomas, Neville Longbottom, and my dad…" Ron added, trailing off.

"Only three people knew how to do it. Aunt Bellatrix and Voldemort, of course, both died," Tonks finished, her voice cracking slightly.

Sirius waited for more but she shook her head and Charlie reached over to pat her back comfortingly. "Who was the third?" he asked.

"My father," Draco informed him coldly. Sirius looked at his cousin, noting the strange glowing hatred that shone from his usually steely eyes. "My father survived the war like the rat he is, and offered his services to the new ministry in exchange for his life. He takes the magic away from any wizard the ministry claims was working for Voldemort."

"Irregardless of the truth," Charlie added. "That's how innocent people get punished. Like Dad," he finished bitterly.

"Of course he doesn't live as comfortably as we did before, and the ministry has taken nearly all the Malfoy fortune, but he keeps the manor, and Mother, and his wand, which more than anyone can say for the other surviving Deatheaters." Draco shook his head, as if trying to clear the anger that Sirius knew he was feeling. "He also keeps his silence. He takes magic from each prisoner equally, without actually telling the ministry if the accused is innocent or guilty. He takes pleasure in it."

Hermione sighed softly. "They wanted to take Harry's magic. They said it was the only way to cure him, that if he refused then he was doomed to a short life full of trauma and flashbacks and so on and so forth, like a muggle prisoner of war."

"We wouldn't let them," Ron interrupted. "The bloody ingrates," he muttered under his breath.

Sirius could hardly register what was being said. That a relative of his, even one married into the family as Lucius Malfoy had, would do such an awful thing…well, it really shouldn't surprise him. But it did. He hadn't truly believed anyone short of the dark lord himself to be so despicable. His last bit of optimism for wizard-kind had been working up that belief and to have it shattered now, like the delicate glass of the vase his mother had once treasured, that he'd taken such satisfaction in throwing to the floor, rattled him to the core.

He stood, ignoring the few questioning looks and went to stand outside the door of the room, letting it close behind with a soft click. He was close enough to know if anything happened, yet alone with his thoughts. Sirius had much to think over. Apparently, one missed a lot when falling through a curtain.

**A/N: Again, sorry about taking so long. Thanks to Nice Socks, cyiusblack, rekahneko, Morgan WhiteFang, DanuMarie, and ComplicatedDarknesS0103 for the reviews. I really appreciate the support. Bye now.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Once again, please forgive me for taking so long!**

**Chapter 13**

Harry didn't wake up the next day, or the day after that. Draco refused to move from his side, and at first, so did the others. Sirius went to work as usual. Though his mind wasn't on his job, he needed the time away from the stifling atmosphere of constant worry, else he too would give in.

Three days after his collapse, Harry's fever broke and Sirius thought it was a sign that he would soon wake. It wasn't. Slowly, as more days passed and Harry didn't wake up, the others returned to their normal routines, stopping every once in a while to check in on Harry and Draco, who rarely left his side. Not that it mattered. The situation didn't change.

"Is it always like this?" Sirius asked Tonks one night a week after Harry's collapse. She'd stopped by the store to buy a few packages of the sweets that Harry enjoyed on occasion. No one could think of anything else that could get Draco to eat again and the boy was losing weight fast enough to cause even more worry.

"Actually," Tonks started, digging into the pocket of her over-sized coat for muggle money, "it's never been like this. Usually, he wakes up in a day or so." She pulled out a few notes and looked at them critically. Then she shrugged and dropped them into Sirius' hand. "He's stayed bedridden for a few days, but never just passed out," she explained, waving away her change and grabbing the plastic handles of the shopping bag.

"What do you think is going on?" Sirius chanced. He didn't think Tonks would know, but he was starting to get really worried now that he knew this wasn't normal.

She shrugged. "Not a clue, mate," she confessed, then sighed. "I wish I knew what was going on in there, you know," she tapped her forehead with one finger. "Then maybe we could figure out how to fix it." They both stood silently for a moment then Tonks shrugged again. "See you, Steven," she called with a slight smile and strolled out the doors, the usual bounce in her step noticeably absent.

Sirius suffered through the rest of the night, ringing up those few customers who weren't intimidated by the dark frown he wasn't really aware was showing. Eventually, his relief came in and Sirius grabbed his jacket, slipping his arms through the sleeves even as he passed through the sliding doors. He was tired and stress had long since caused a tense pain between his shoulders. A hot shower and a dreamless sleep sounded like heaven.

Nearly an hour later, he closed the door to Grimmauld Place softly, careful not to wake the portrait snoozing behind the dark curtains. He turned and let loose a stream of curses under his breath when he nearly ran into to Remus. "Don't sneak up on me like that!" he said, struggling to keep his voice soft. Then he frowned, taking a closer look at the werewolf's strained face in the dark.

"I can't find Harry," Remus whispered, twisting his hands together. "I just dropped by his room to check on the boys. Draco's sleeping, but Harry's not there." He looked around the dark hall. "I came downstairs to look for him and I heard you..."  
Sirius placed a gentle hand on Remus' shoulder, a move meant to calm the other man as much as to hold back his own panic. His ran his eyes around the hall, not noticing the light beneath the study door until his second look. Then he stepped around Remus, shushing the man when he started to speak and led the way to the study.

The creaking of the old door hinges as Sirius swung the portal open wasn't quite as eerie as the tuneless whistling that echoed through the book-filled room. "Harry?" he called cautiously.

The whistling stopped and Harry spun the desk chair around, lowering the book he'd been scanning and greeting Sirius and Remus with a cheerful grin. "Hey," he called, standing and dropping his book. "Is something wrong?"

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look. "Are you okay?" Remus tried, taking a few more steps into the room.

Harry shrugged. "Sure, why wouldn't I be?"

"You've been out for a week," Sirius pointed out. "You ran away from home and got a fever out in the storm."

Harry's face darkened for an instant then he gave a half-hearted smile. "Wow, a week, huh?" he laughed. "Guess I didn't realize how tired I was."

Sirius frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. Before he'd disappeared, Harry had never hesitated to share his fears with him, and had asked for his advice on more than one occasion. Now, that moment of darkness he'd seen made him question what Harry was saying. He was hiding something, that much was obvious.

Remus looked back at Sirius, biting his lip a little, then moved to Harry. The teen stood up as Remus approached. "Are you sure you're okay, Harry?" he asked again, putting his hands on Harry's shoulders.

Harry nodded and grinned. "Sure, I just got a little too much sleep, I guess." Then he stepped around Remus and headed for the door, waving a little to Sirius as he went. Remus followed, leaning around the door to watch Harry climb the stairs, whistling tunelessly again, until the sound of his bedroom door closing floated down the steps.

"I'm going to take a shot in the dark and say that that is also something that hasn't happened before," Sirius said, and Remus turned back to him with a nod. "He was hiding something. Do you think it was because I'm back?"

Remus shrugged. "I...I don't know." He walked slowly across the room and picked up the book Harry had left abandoned on the desk. "He's usually very disoriented when he wakes up from his ...episodes. I can't understand why he..." Remus trailed off, brows furrowed as he flipped through the small leather bound book.

"What is it?" Sirius asked, walking quickly to the werewolf's side. Remus passed the book to him, frowning. "The Metamorphosis," Sirius read aloud. "Strange choice of reading material for a guy who's been passed out for a week. Why would Harry be reading this?" Harry wasn't much of a reader on a good day.

Remus shook his head. "I don't know," he answered slowly, and Sirius knew he didn't like to admit it. More than anything, Sirius wanted to put an arm around the werewolf's shoulder, but he resisted the urge. Even something so simple as that would make him want more and now wasn't the time for it.

**A/N: It's kind of short but I want to post before I go to bed. Thanks RankEgg, cyiusblack, moonfoot13, Isiedks, Vyalia's Kryptonite, rekahneko, Anastasia Snape, DemonFromThePast for the lovely reviews. Also to a few anons who didn't seem to like it. *shrug*. Oh, well. Thanks again!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Inspiration has finally struck again! Yay!**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Something was wrong. Sirius may have been gone for two years, he may not have seen his god-son on many occasions before that, but he still knew something wasn't right. He said nothing aloud, keeping his suspicions to himself. After all, just because he thought something was wrong didn't mean he knew exactly _what_ was wrong.

The others seemed completely satisfied. Harry was awake. Harry was smiling. Harry was cheerful, acting as if nothing had happened. After the gloom and stress his collapse had caused, everyone wanted to believe it. Sirius wanted to believe it.

But Harry's smiles didn't reach his eyes. Even shielded by his glasses, Sirius could see an edge, a tinge of _something_ that had never been there. His cheerfulness wasn't forced, but to Sirius, it felt like an actor of a well-rehearsed part. The laughter rang fake in his ears. Harry would pull away from his friends when they hugged him, or even just tossed an arm around his shoulders. He'd take a step closer to Malfoy, wave away any concern, and twine his fingers with the boy's in a display of affection that had been more discrete before his week-long sleep.

Several days after Harry woke, Sirius discovered he wasn't the only one who noticed. Charlie moved to stand next to him at the kitchen counter, arms crossed and smiling lightly as he watched Harry eating breakfast with the others. "Doesn't it feel like you're looking for the differences?" he asked, reaching up to brush a few stray strands of red hair from his brow.

Sirius glanced over at him, then back to the boisterous group at the table, lifting a spoonful of cereal to his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. "What are you talking about?" he finally muttered.

Charlie waved absently to Harry. "That," he answered shortly. "It's like holding two pictures and trying to pick out everything that's different between them. Something doesn't fit here, but I can't quite put that little red circle around it."

"You too?" Sirius asked, frowning as he took another bite, then set the bowl down. It was getting soggy anyway. "No one else acts like they can see it."

Charlie turned, motioning for Sirius to follow him. He lead the other man through the kitchen doors and up the stairs to Sirius' room, then he crossed to the bed and flopped down. "They're all too close to him," Charlie observed crossing his arms behind his head to glare up at the ceiling. "I think it's because we're outsiders that we can see it."

Sirius opened his mouth to agree, but was interrupted by a knock. "Come in," he said brusquely and leaned against the edge of his desk. He may not use it for work but the heavy old wood served its purpose now as it always had, a bench.

The door opened silently, just enough to admit Remus, who closed it behind. "I'm sorry to intrude," he apologized, trying to brush wrinkles from his worn robes. "But I heard you, Charlie, and I think you're right." He looked up, meeting Sirius' eyes with an unusually direct gaze. "I think something is wrong with Harry."

Later that night, Sirius stood behind the counter at the store, chewing his nail between purchases. He, Charlie, and Remus had spent a full hour discussing Harry and his behavior since awakening, but hadn't come up with any solutions. It might have helped if they'd been able to pinpoint the problem, but that had proved a task easier said than done. The vague sense that it wasn't right was all they had to go on, so they'd agreed to watch the boy, hoping to find the proof they needed.

Sirius had herded them from his room then, using his need to get ready for work as an excuse. He'd showed up nearly three hours early just to maintain the lie. Otherwise, Charlie at least may have suspected the real reason Sirius needed them to leave. Thanks to his worried pacing, Remus' scent had just about taken over his room, that soft mix of chocolate and dirt that made Sirius' head spin and his hands ache to hold the werewolf. He only had so much control.

He looked up when the bell rang over the door, indicating that a customer had walked in, and rolled his eyes. He could only just see the top of the woman's head, but that shockingly purple hair was a dead giveaway. He didn't need the "Wotcher, Steven!" to know he'd been blessed with yet another visit from his cousin.

For the next thirty minutes, Sirius listened to her chatter with half an ear as he alternated between restocking the chocolates and cigarettes and ringing up the odd customer. That didn't keep him busy for long though and eventually he found himself standing behind the counter with nothing to do but watch the girl pace back and forth between the chips and chocolate.

It was then that he started to notice things, small actions that raised his curiosity and made him wonder if she wasn't here for something other than to talk his ear off. Little nervous twitching movements her fingers made, and giggles that were more high pitched than usual. The girl was definitely agitated. "What's wrong?" he asked roughly. The way his luck had been running lately, the chit wouldn't mention a thing unless he said something first.

Tonks tried to laugh lightly, but Sirius could hear the strain in the sound. "It's just..." she paused for a moment as if trying to find the right words. "It's Remus' 'time of the month', you know," she said, moving her fingers in small quote marks before motioning to the full moon hanging low in the sky outside the glass doors of the store. She shook her head and Sirius tried not to be surprised when the purple shifted to a deep red with the movement. "I can't stand being around the house then," Tonks moaned and resumed her pacing, fingering the ends of her hair.

Sirius kept his face straight and it took more of his self-control than he'd ever admit not to blast the girl. These few days of the month when Remus transformed at nights had always been so difficult for him. His pain, the strain and stress of the transformation, the intense loneliness he endured each night of the full moon, were what made James and Sirius work so hard to become animagi, so that even if only for a little while, Remus wouldn't have to suffer alone. If Remus was still his, Sirius would never leave him on his own now!

"I can't take the sound of his pain!" Tonk's voice interrupted his thoughts and Sirius was slightly mollified by the genuine sorrow he heard. "And when he's locked up in that room, all alone, even with the potion, he makes just the most dreadful howls. It could bring you to tears," she finished with a sigh and her hair shimmered into a dark midnight blue.

Before he had the chance to even roll his eyes at his cousin's dramatics, she plopped a chocolate bar down on the counter in the same manner an alcoholic might slap his hand for another drink, asking, "Gimme this one, will you?" Then, without waiting for him to finish ringing it up, Tonks jumped up on the counter and started munching. "Mm," she breathed. "This just makes everything feel a bit better," she confessed.

Sirius did roll his eyes then. It was such a girl thing to say. A piece of chocolate didn't help matters at all, unless you were facing off against a dementor if Remus was to be believed. "How wonderful for you," he finally said dryly . "Now if you've finished with your useless prattling, perhaps you could see clear to getting off my counter before another customer comes in?"

Tonks laughed at him but jumped down anyway. "It's well after midnight, 'Steven'. I doubt you'll get too many now," she pointed out and took another bite of her chocolate.

Sirius shrugged. "I might," he responded with ill humor. There were always a couple of teens, hyped with the buzz of alcohol and the thrill of being out past curfew, who insisted on buying an odd assortment of snacks, cigarettes, and flavored condoms in the wee hours of the morning.

Tonks nodded absently and started pacing again, stopping only once to buy another chocolate bar. It was on the tip of his tongue to order her back on the counter when she suddenly spun, facing him as if just coming to a decision. "Sirius, I need to tell you something," she informed him.

Sirius took in her straight back, the fists clenched at her sides, and her hair- bright green and standing straight up- and decided he really didn't want to know. "Why me?" he asked before she got the chance to say anything else.

"I have to tell someone, duh," Tonks grinned. "And you're the only one I've been talking to with any regularity lately. Except Charlie," her face darkened for a moment as she thought of the red-head and Sirius thought he saw her stick out her tongue briefly and smiled. She was not thinking happy thoughts, something Charlie wouldn't appreciate overmuch. "I think I'm pregnant."

The words stopped his brain mid-process. His smile froze on his face and Sirius stared unblinkingly across the counter at his cousin. She was biting the corner of her lip nervously, her hands twisting and wringing together and her cheeks flushed.

Outwardly, he appeared the perfection of utter calmness. Inside, however, Sirius exploded. He couldn't have heard her right. There was no way! To have heard her right meant that Remus, his Remus, had ...had...! He couldn't even finish the thought! The darkness that had lain dormant since Harry's collapse came back to life, roaring with a strange mixture of fury and disbelief, ordering him to do something, anything, burning in his chest so that he had to work to keep his breathing even.

She didn't know. Tonks had no idea what had happened between Sirius and the werewolf during those lazy school years, or the few short years after graduation, or those stolen moments before his flight through the veil. She couldn't possibly realize what effect her words were having on him. So he fought to maintain his calm facade, if only to protect the girl from damage his unleashed wrath may inflict. After all, it was entirely possible that there was a part of Remus in her, and Sirius would die before harming that.

Slowly, he realized a small hand was waving across his face, begging for his attention. "Alright there mate?" Tonks asked, leaning with her other hand against the counter. She waited for Sirius to nod, obviously unaware that she had just shattered his world. "Good, because I need your help, Sirius. What should I do?"

**A/N: And that's all. You know, I've been trying for days to figure out how to end this chappie. Tell me what you think, yeah? (By the way, I'm laughing evilly right now because my friend, who I'm writing this for, just found out what I did. She's pissed. Hee!) Ok, thanks to: cyiusblack, muumuu122, Rhea1305, Anastasia Snape, PottersLittleSister, Soubi-and-Ritsuka-are-ADORABLE (x13) and OrichalcumRose for the reviews. Also, I think there may be another, but the site's being all screwy right now so I can't be sure. If so, thanks also! If not, well, thanks for reading. *shrug***


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: No ado whatsoever...**

Sirius stared blankly at his cousin for what seemed like hours, his eyes following her quick pacing. She was asking his advice? On what to do about the child she may be carrying? A possible child fathered by his own past lover? Life just about sucked.

The look on his face must have suggested thoughtfulness to the girl, because she waited nervously but silently for his suggestion. Which he of course was not thinking of. He was listening to the steady ticking of the second hand on the clock above the counter. He was praying for the ringing bell that meant some drunken bastard or other had come to rescue him. He was .... "You should tell him."

Apparently, he was stepping back into the role he'd never wanted: Tonks' confidant. Damn it all.

"Tell him?" she repeated softly, eyes growing wide. "What if he gets mad? What if he doesn't want it? I couldn't give it up..." she trailed off, her hands dropping to her belly.

Sirius rolled his eyes. Which really wasn't what he wanted to do. Really, he wanted to growl and direct the girl to the fast route out of his store- a right through sodas, and straight on through snack cakes and misshapen figurines. He didn't need to know any of this, could have lived quite happily not knowing that she and Remus... that.... He still couldn't finish the thought! Even more, he really wanted to tell her how much she didn't know about Remus. If she was as close to him as Sirius had once been, she'd know Remus would never turn away his own child.

Damn it.

"Remus is kind and responsible," he said softly and sighed. "He may be angry at first, I can't tell you that for sure, but if you are p- pregnant," he hoped she didn't notice how he stumbled over the word, "he wouldn't just turn his back on you. He's too nice for that." Sirius passed Tonks another chocolate bar and she gave him a grateful look. "Besides, it's his own fault for not using protection."

The words slipped out before he'd realized it and Sirius flushed brightly when Tonks laughed. He wasn't even thinking it! How could he have just said it?! The bell rang over the door and they both looked over as a couple of guys stumbled in.

"Well, thanks, mate," Tonks grinned up at him. "I'll think about what you said, but do me a favor and keep this our little secret." She held up a hand as if she was begging and winked at him before strolling out the door, leaving Sirius with the two men.

He glared at them from behind the counter, watching every move not because he thought they'd take something but rather because he despised their timing. If only they had arrived ten minutes earlier, they might have spared him a bit of embarrassment and great deal of that horrible gift: Too Much Information.

The house was much more active that night than usual when Sirius arrived home and he stood outside the kitchen, listening to the discussion taking place on the other side with a frown. "Ron, I'm sure he didn't mean it like that," Hermione was saying in a soothing tone.

There was a bitter snort, then Ron's voice, considerably louder than his girlfriend's, reverberated through the door. "He told me to stay out of his business, that I was better off concerning myself with my mud-blood whore and called me a filthy bottom-feeder for good measure," he snarled.

Sirius felt his eyes widen. Harry had said that? "I know, Ron, I was there," Hermione reminded the boy and Sirius could hear the hurt in her voice.

"Yeah, I know, 'Mione," Ron said and Sirius could hear his voice coming closer. "I was just saying it for the benefit of Sirius here," was the last thing he heard before Ron's hand grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him through the suddenly open door into the kitchen.

"When did you start lurking behind doors, Sirius?" Hermione asked, leaning her hip against the edge of the table.

"When I wasn't sure if I was welcome to the conversation," Sirius answered, prying Ron's fist from his shirt and smoothing the fabric. "You should learn to respect your elders."

Hermione leaned forward, grabbing Ron's hand and pulling him closer to her. "He's just in a bad mood, Sirius, he didn't mean anything by it." She patted his arm softly and Ron gave a jerky nod that Sirius assumed was some form of apology. He didn't press the issue. There were bigger problems requiring his concern than unintentional disrespect.

Problems like intentional disrespect. "What exactly happened?" he looked at Hermione, knowing that Ron would be far too angry to give a decent reply.

The witch shrugged uncertainly. "We thought something might be wrong with Harry, you know. We've felt that he's been distancing himself from us again, which is usually a sign that something bad is happening. Only when we asked him about it..." she trailed off.

"You heard what I said," Ron finished sharply. "After all these years, everything we've been through, what a bastard thing to say," he fumed, shaking off Hermione's hands and pacing furiously around the room.

"Ron, I'm just as insulted as you are," Hermione started in her most logical tone. "But I'm sure there's something going on, we just need to find out what it is." The girl looked much more unsure of herself by the time she'd finished and Sirius could tell that this was another one of those few things that she wasn't sure she could figure out.

"I know," Ron growled and stopped pacing to glare at the ceiling, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. "Just give me a minute."

Sirius turned his attention back to Hermione. "This isn't because of Malfoy, is it?"

Hermione looked at him curiously for a moment, then shook her head. "Sometimes, I forget that you've been away for a while," she said. Sirius thought that was a rather delicate way to put it and smiled briefly. "See, we doubted his change of heart at first too, but war, killing people, it does weird things to you." Sirius nodded. He knew all about that. "Malfoy may still come off as a bit of a ...supremacist, but its more now because he was raised with money than because he believes being pure-blooded is better," she explained.

"Malfoy hasn't called you a mud-blood since school," Ron said harshly and Hermione moved to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and tucking her head under his chin as she whispered soothing words.

Sirius watched for a minute, then left the room. It was a moment he might have enjoyed having alone with Remus, so he could understand what the two needed more than anything else just then was a bit of privacy.

He let the kitchen door close softly behind him then head for the stairs. With one foot on the bottom step, he looked up to see Remus staring down at him from the landing, twisting his hands and biting his lip.

It was too much really, and Sirius couldn't stop the sigh that escaped. It may be the wee hours of the morning but it seemed he wasn't done playing therapist just yet.

**A/N: Okay, that's all for now, even if it is a bit short, because I've finally got inspired but it's like 8 am and I haven't been to bed yet. While I hesitate to go now (it might chase away my b**ch of a muse), I'll fall out of my chair if I don't get some sleep. So thanks, to cyiusblack, Rhea1305, ihearthpfanfic, and Anastasia Snape for the reviews. Oh, and adari94, who took the time even if she (or he) didn't agree with me on Sirius and Draco's relationship. I still think it's second-cousin, but whatever. *shrug* That wasn't very many this time, so I hope it's because you guys are pissed and not because you don't want to read it anymore. Because it would amuse me if you all were just pissed, but it would piss me off if you all just stopped. Right, sleepy time now.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I wasn't going to post this for a few more days, like maybe when I got a few more reviews on the last chapter. But I figured I really did piss people off with the whole Tonks thing and decided that punishing those who are still reading this wouldn't be fair. Hm, if it could even be considered a punishment....**

"I assume you've heard about what happened." Remus started pacing about the library, the short quick strides carrying him swiftly across the room and back as Sirius watched from his position, leaning against the door.

That was a tricky question, Sirius decided, and kept his mouth closed. Remus could be talking about one of two things and he was so not going to fall into that dangerous trap. Better to let the werewolf continue on, and pretend Sirius knew exactly what he was talking about all along.

"What should we do, Sirius?" Remus cast a worried glance his way and kept pacing. "This could be very, very bad. I wasn't expecting this at all!"

Sirius fought to keep his expression suitably concerned. At least, he hoped it was suitable. Remus wasn't giving him a single clue about what was making the normally quiet and calm man so flustered. If he was expecting an answer at all, he'd say something revealing and soon!

"Sirius!" Remus called, the slight panic that slipped into the word refocusing Sirius' attention. "What are we going to do? Did you think of anything while you were at work? Because, quite frankly, Charlie and I have got absolutely nothing!" He wrung his hands together and bit his lip nervously, watching Sirius with careful eyes.

Closing his eyes to hide his relief, Sirius pushed himself off the door and moved across the room to place calming hands on Remus shoulders. Then, because meeting his love's worried gaze was just too much, Sirius spun him around and set about giving Remus a massage.

The werewolf resisted at first, tensing even more before finally relaxing under his, if Sirius could say so himself, talented hands. "I haven't thought of anything, Remus," he confessed, accompanying the words with deft movements of his fingers. "But we don't have enough information to make a full assessment of the problem. I think by now, we've both learned that charging in uninformed only leads to disaster."

Remus bit back a moan Sirius could feel beneath his hands and his voice was decidedly more relaxed when he finally replied. "But what about what he said to Ron and Hermione? It isn't like Harry to talk that way at all, and especially not to them."

Sirius felt the man swallow another moan and stepped closer, so that a mere inch separated him from Remus' back. He had only meant to help Remus relax, to ease his worry even if only a small bit, but everything about the former Gryffindor excited him, teased him, reminded him of times like this, long past, that may have evolved into something sweeter and hotter.

He bent his head, taking in Remus' earthy sweet scent, and gave into the urge to caress that fragrant skin. Sirius placed soft kisses, trailing from just under Remus' oh-so-sensitive ear, pushing aside the collar of his worn shirt to continue down the curve of his neck. The protest he knew was coming did then, a soft whisper filled with a sadness that could bring tears to a weaker man's eye, "Sirius."

Just one word, and he should have pulled away, but it had been so long. And Remus had been teasing him, with his scent, with his flowing movements, his soft voice and gentle eyes. Just for a little while longer....that's all he needed was a little while longer to hold the man he loved before passing him back to his cousin.

So he slipped one hand from Remus' shoulder to cover his mouth, to keep him from reminding Sirius that, even if he did have these few moments, they would never be enough. The other man's hands flew up, clasping tightly around the bigger one that covered his mouth, and Sirius could feel Remus' lips working against his palm. But he kept his nose pressed against Remus' neck, breathing deeply and letting his free hand roam, pulling that old shirt from the waist of his werewolf's pants and letting it slip beneath the warm fabric. His fingers traced a light path over Remus' belly, rejoicing in the flinching of muscle beneath their tips, brushing softly the nipples that hardened beneath his touch.

Remus gasped then, the sound stifled against his hand, but Sirius could feel it, and lifted his head to look at Remus' face. He'd dropped his head back, leaning heavily against Sirius so that the taller man could feel every tremor that moved through that narrow frame. His eyes were closed, there was a familiar flush high on his cheeks, and his nostrils flared just slightly as his breathing picked up pace. Remus was as he had always been, absolutely beautiful.

But Sirius knew he couldn't stay like this much longer, even if he wanted to stay like this forever. He turned Remus' face to him, lifting his chin and finally moving his hand away, placing his mouth quickly over those waiting lips before Remus could utter even a sound.

Remus was waiting for him though, and welcomed Sirius' tongue into his mouth with a sigh of pleasure, one hand moving up to bury itself in Sirius' black hair, pulling him closer, the other dropping to caress through his shirt the broad hand that spread over his chest. And Sirius could have leapt for joy. Remus, his Remus, was reacting, finally responding to his touch as he had so long ago! He shifted his head slightly, twining his tongue with the warm one of his love and relishing each moan, shiver and gasp that passed between them.

Then, because he knew he wouldn't be able to stop if he stayed any longer, Sirius let go, pulling Remus' hand gently from his hair and taking a step back, then another. He didn't wait for Remus to turn around, because he knew, he just knew, that he wouldn't be able to handle the look on the werewolf's face.

Sirius turned on his heel, and reached for the door. Fighting to keep his voice steady, as if nothing had just happened, as if he wasn't about to walk away from a heated kiss with the man he loved and had thought lost all for a red-head pain in the ass, Sirius added one more sentence to the conversation he'd so quickly abandoned. "I'll talk to Harry. Better to find out what we can from the boy himself."

That was all he could say calmly just then, and he could tell by the subtle change in the air behind him that Remus was moving closer, so he swung the door open and stepped out of the study, jogging quickly upstairs to the safety of his own bedroom. And damned if it didn't still smell like the man he'd just left!

With so much to think about, to figure out- Harry's problematic behavior, Tonks' startling announcement, and Charlie's somewhat unpredictable reaction to this recent development- Sirius wasn't surprised at all that all he could actually focus on was the warm feel of Remus that still lingered in his arms. Following Remus into that room, he'd hoped he'd get another chance with him, though he hadn't actually planned on anything happening. Remus had seemed so worried. Now, remembering the other man's reaction, he wondered if his werewolf, for Remus would be _his_ werewolf again, hadn't planned something himself.

**A/N: Just an FYI here, reviews help me write! So thanks to claire2007 (so faithful! *sniff*) and deisegirl (a new one, I believe) for your reviews on the last chapter. I'm really thankful, but just two reviews makes me feel like a n00b....sigh.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hello and sorry for the wait. Though you have to admit, I'm getting better at updating more frequently! Okay, you don't have to admit. But I know it's true, so nyeh! Heh.**

**Chapter 17**

"He did what?" Charlie asked, his many freckles standing out starkly against his suddenly pale skin. Sirius had to give him a little bit of credit though. At least his jaw wasn't hanging open. But this was another of those trick questions that he refused to answer. Perhaps it would have been a better idea not to tell Charlie about Harry and Remus in the same five minute span. Too late now.

Sirius settled for crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against his desk, lifting a brow in question. Just how was it that Charlie managed to claim his bed during every conversation? Somehow, it just didn't seem quite fair. After a few moments of staring silently at one another, Sirius decided the boy simply did not possess the same level of intelligence that Remus did, and gave a heavy sigh, dropping his hands to the edge of the desk.

Obviously, Weasley wasn't going to figure out for himself the problem with the whole, "he did what?" query. "If you're waiting for an answer, Charlie, I think you should clarify the question," he finally pointed out.

Charlie thought for a moment, then gave a slightly embarrassed grin, cheeks flushing slightly. "Sorry. Let's talk about Remus first. That one's easier," he added under his breath.

Sirius shrugged. "Once again, what's to say? I kissed him, he kissed back. That's just about it," he replied, and shifted to sit backwards in his desk chair. It was a position that allowed one to be alert while appearing completely relaxed, which made it the perfect position for dealing with know-it-all red-heads with a plan.

"But," Charlie started slowly, lifting his feet to sit cross-legged on Sirius' bed, "you said you think he planned for it to happen."

Charlie knew Sirius hated when he did that, putting his dirty shoes on his bed. He narrowed his gaze on Weasley, but to no avail. Either the boy didn't notice or didn't care that Sirius was silently threatening him, and he puffed out an exasperated breath. This is what came from dealing with pups. "I never said for sure," he answered, deciding it was better to pick his battles. Besides, revenge was fun and he was sure he could come up with the proper punishment for Charlie's casual treatment of his newly cleaned sheets.

"Well, yeah," Charlie admitted, "but you know Remus better than anyone. If you think it may have been even the slightest intentional, we have to assume you're right." Sirius nodded. He rather liked assuming he was right anyway. A thoughtful expression passed over Charlie's face as he shifted back to lean against the wall, tapping his foot in the air every so often. "I wonder if those two aren't up to something," he mused aloud.

Sirius frowned. "Remus and Tonks?" he asked, just to be sure. It hadn't occurred to him that they might be up to something, but then that was what these "updates" were for. "What makes you say that?"

The red-head shrugged. "Just little things I've been noticing," he replied, brushing a hand through his hair. "They haven't been together near as much as usual. And don't tell me you haven't noticed that she's stopped calling him Remy." They both shuddered at the reminder of the awful nickname.

He thought for a few quiet moments, then shook his head. "No, that couldn't be it. She may be up to something, and he may be as well. But together? It's just too unlikely. Remus is too honest."

Charlie rolled his eyes. "And I suppose you think Tonks isn't," he said dryly.

"Tonks and I are related," Sirius reminded him. "It's sort of a family tradition not to tell the whole truth. I've no doubt she enjoys leaving out bits here and there as much as any Black."

"Well, so long as you're telling the whole truth now, I couldn't care less about tradition," Charlie told him. "And on that note, I suggest we move on to Harry. This conversation shows eight of the nine signs of erupting into an argument."

Sirius lifted a brow. That whole "eight of nine signs" line sounded like nothing more than a load of manure to him, but since he _wasn't_ completely telling the truth, he had left out Tonks' bit of news after all, he wasn't about to disagree. The door to his bedroom creaking slowly open interrupted Charlie's next words and both men turned to see who was comfortable enough to enter without so much as a knock.

It was with vague surprise that they found Harry standing there. Of late, the boy had become more mannered. Sirius had caught him more than once knocking on Draco's door, and that was his own boyfriend. That Harry hadn't bothered to knock this time, when Sirius was clearly in the middle of a conversation, sent up warning flags.

Harry's gaze flicked between the two men, neither having spoken since he'd entered, before staying on Charlie. "Could I... could I talk to Sirius alone, Charlie?" he asked, voice hoarse. Sirius' brows knit together. It was as if he'd been crying or yelling. Since he would've heard the yelling, Sirius assumed it was the former, and there was only one thing Harry would be crying over.

As soon as Charlie excused himself, closing the door behind him, Sirius swung his gaze to Harry. "What did Draco do?" he snarled, hands gripping the back of the chair tightly. "I swear, I'll kill the little brat. No, that's too easy. I'll..."

Harry shook his head, halting Sirius' rambling threats, and sat down on the edge of his bed. "It's not that. It's not him," the boy insisted and his eyes filled with unshed tears that Sirius could tell he was trying to will away. "I heard you and Charlie mention my name."

Sirius thought back over the conversation, breathing a quiet sigh of relief when he realized they hadn't actually had time to say anything. So he nodded. "Yeah, we were talking," Sirius admitted, standing from his chair to sit next to Harry. "C'mon, pup," he coaxed affectionately. "What's going on with you, hm?"

Harry took a deep breath. "I can't say," he whispered so softly Sirius had to strain to hear it. "Something's wrong, but I can't say." Sirius frowned. He could tell by the look on the boy's face that he wanted to say more, wanted to explain, but something was stopping him. Harry didn't give him a chance to ask though, just continued in the same soft voice, as if afraid of being overheard. "There might come a time when I ask you... when I need to do something for me, Sirius. Something bad. Would you promise to do it?" Harry asked, turning his gaze, strong and clear now, to Sirius.

It was never a good thing when someone asked you to do something, but wouldn't tell you what. That was something James had taught him years ago. It was ironic that it was James' only son asking him to break that well-learned rule now. But that gaze was boring into his, doing all the begging he knew Harry would never do verbally and Sirius sighed. "Alright, Harry. I'll do it."

His agreement wasn't enough and Harry shook his head. "I need you to promise me," he ordered, in a tone more forceful that Sirius had heard him use in a while. "Hurry! Promise me!" Harry stood then, one hand clenched into a fist at his side and the other pressed against his head, like trying to fight off a headache. "Sirius!" he cried.

"I promise, Harry," Sirius swore hurriedly, standing to put his hands on the boy's shoulders. "Harry, are you all right?"

Harry dropped his hand, relaxing visibly and offered Sirius a half-smile. "Of course," he answered smoothly and pulled away. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Sirius watched as the boy left the room, calling for Draco as soon as the door was closed behind him. He moved quickly, opening the door and leaning into the hallway. Harry stood just down the hall, framed in his boyfriend's door and running his hands softly over the taller boy's face, whispering and smiling as if he hadn't just asked Sirius to do "something bad".

Then Draco pulled Harry into his room and all Sirius could see was the white panel of the door swinging closed. A soft sound behind him alerted him to another presence so he turned, his gaze meeting Charlie's. It was obvious Weasley had heard everything and was just as confused as Sirius. "Something is definitely wrong," he needlessly pointed out.

Sirius shoved a hand through his hair and cast one more look at the door down the hall. That much had been obvious even before the conversation. Now, things looked decidedly worse. He would have given just about anything to know what exactly was going on, but the only person who knew just couldn't say.

**A/N: Okay, not too long, but not too terribly short. Yeah. It's good. Alright, thanks to RankEgg, deisegirl, cyiusblack, sharlie25, Renai-chan, ihearthpfanfic, Jupiter 13, RandomReggie, Samairi, and MagicalWinry for the reviews on the last chapter. Yay! Double digits! I feel better now!.....Did you go back and count that? Heh.**


	18. Chapter 18

It hit him while he was at work, ringing up a carton of milk and a few small bags of chips for one of the older ladies who frequented the convenience store on her way home, the most logical and most terrifying answer to the problem Harry had presented. The woman frowned at him when his grip on the carton slipped. Fortunately the counter was only a few inches away and the item was undamaged, but Sirius spent the rest of the night staring at the clock, trying to convince himself that he was wrong, that it wasn't possible.

He only managed to convince himself that it was the only possible answer.

The lights were all out when he finally made it back to the manor and Sirius headed upstairs, pausing for a moment outside Harry's room and listening at the panel. Then he turned, moving just down the hall and silently opening the door to Draco's room. As he expected, Harry was curled into Draco's side, clutching at the pale boy even in his sleep as if he were the lifesaver that kept him from drowning as he floated lost in the ocean. Sirius could understand the feeling, but now, with those suspicions, he wondered if there wasn't a deeper meaning behind it all.

For three hours, he tried in vain to sleep. Eventually he gave up and padded barefoot down the stairs to the kitchen, taking a few minutes to set up the coffee. Instant coffee had never tasted as good as ground beans but just then he needed the extra shot of bitterness that pervaded every cup of the hot liquid. It was where Draco found him a few hours later, yawning and scratching at the back of his head as he strode into the room. "Excuse me," he muttered, too late hiding his surprise at finding Sirius sitting with a half-empty cup of cold coffee in the darkened kitchen.

"Do you ever feel that something is different?" Sirius asked, leaning back in his chair and watching as the boy wrinkled his nose at the old coffee and moved to dump it down the sink.

Draco looked at him for a moment, then turned back to his task. "Like what?" he asked.

Sirius couldn't blame his confusion. It wasn't as though the question had had any sort of preamble. He lifted his glass, swirling the dark liquid and staring into it as if he could read his future in the small grains that clung wetly to the sides of the cup. "About Harry," he clarified. "About the way he's acted since ..." Sirius waved a hand vaguely, "Voldemort."

Draco didn't say anything for a few long and uncomfortable minutes, and Sirius listened as he set the coffee machine, then moved across the room. There was a rustling of plastic and the click of the toaster turning on. Never would Sirius have placed even knut on Draco Malfoy using a toaster when magic was so readily available. He remembered what Hermione had said, that war changed people, and he wondered, just for a moment, how else his cousin had changed after the war.

"Harry and I never really communicated well before that," Draco explained softly, so that Sirius could only just hear him. The toaster clicked again, springing up lightly browned toast that Draco dropped on a plate and set on the table. "I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask about his life before."

Sirius shook his head. "That's exactly it. How did all that fighting between you and Harry suddenly evolve into this?" he motioned his hand upstairs, where Harry still slept.

Draco shrugged, an elegant lift of his shoulders Sirius was sure he had inherited from his mother. "I'm not entirely sure myself. I suppose, we just matured. Harry came to me, and I saw him differently than I had before. It wasn't hate that filled me every time I looked at him, not anymore."

Sirius nodded a bit, his suspicion confirmed. "So it _was_ Harry who started it all," he mused softly to himself, then looked up, piercing Draco with a stare that he hadn't used in a while. It was the sort of look that helped him discern truth from lies, and figure out what people actually said when they spoke. "Did you ever wonder why?"

"Of course," Draco answered, brows furrowed as if trying to understand the purpose behind Sirius' questions. "I even asked once or twice, but Harry never really answered. Then I fell for him, and it stopped bothering me."

Sirius nodded. It seemed he didn't really need that careful stare, with Draco so readily sharing the truth. Besides, he'd figured that, not so much from Harry's words as by his actions. That his relationship with Draco started only after his defeat of the Dark Lord was surely significant, and when he met with Charlie and Remus in his room hours later, he made sure to mention it.

But neither were surprised. "Well, yes," Remus had frowned. "Harry's been drawn to him since they met. They disliked one another so intensely for so long, that sort of obsession could only go two ways."

Charlie had grinned. "Believe me, Sirius, this is much better than them killing one another. Bloodstains are so hard to get out of the carpet," he joked lightly.

Sirius rolled his eyes, almost in awe of the naïveté he was witnessing from two grown men. "Get real," he snarled, ignoring the surprise that did come over the faces of his companions. Too late and at the wrong time. "I'll buy that war changes people. Hell, I've lived it. But I still think that Severus Snape is the same greasy git that I always thought he was and no amount of death or torture could change that," he finished, slashing his hand through the air for good measure. "But magic can."

Remus frowned again, not with confusion but with a worry that furrowed his brows together. "Are you saying that Draco cast some sort of spell on Harry?" he asked slowly. "But Hermione…"

"Not Draco," Charlie broke in, a dark look clouding his face and Sirius could tell that this Weasley, at least, caught on quick. "Voldemort. None of us could know just what he was capable of, and it certainly explains why Harry's gone off the deep end lately."

Remus gasped, covering his mouth with his hand. "Merlin," he breathed, and Sirius recognized that tone. It meant that Remus was accepting a truth he found awful. He could almost see Remus connecting the dots. Harry's words and actions against his two greatest friends in the world, the behavior that spoke of the supremacy of pure blood, even his strengthened relationship with Draco Malfoy. "You can't mean that…"

Sirius couldn't blame him for not wanting to finish the sentence. He hadn't had all night and most of the morning to come to terms with the idea as Sirius had. But there was no other option, no other answer to all the questions Harry had inspired since he'd awakened from that fever. "Harry's being controlled by Voldemort."

Charlie chewed his thumbnail, clenching one fist against his thigh. "How could this happen? How could none of us have spotted it?" He rose from his usual spot on Sirius' bed and started pacing the room, running his hand through his hair in agitation.

Remus didn't move, keeping his head bowed with his hands covering his eyes. "Harry was all alone when he faced the Dark Lord. Then he couldn't remember how he'd won. I should have known something was wrong then." Charlie stopped pacing to look at the older man, then swung his gaze to Sirius.

Sirius pushed himself from the wall and dropped his hand to Remus' hair. It was a comforting gesture that Remus had given him more than once, and when the lycan looked up at him with a slight but grateful smile, Sirius knew he remembered. "It wasn't anyone's fault, so let's skip the blame game and figure out how we're going to fix this."

"But how?" Charlie asked, positioning himself on the edge of the desk. "We don't even know how Voldemort could have done this."

Sirius let his fingers run through Remus' hair. It was surprisingly calming and even helped him think a bit. "What about those episodes Harry's been going through?" he asked, trying to remember everything Hermione had told him about Harry's condition since his… departure. Something about them struck him as odd.

Remus seemed to agree. Sirius could feel the other man nod beneath his hand. "When he went into those fevers, it always did seem like he was fighting something. This was the first time he came out of it acting so strangely." He paused for a minute, as if collecting his thoughts. "Maybe he _was_ fighting someone, and this is the first time he's lost. Sirius, remember the book?"

That night held more pleasant memories for Sirius than finding his godson had developed strange taste in literature, but still Sirius was unlikely to forget. "The Metamorphosis. You think Harry was trying to tell us what was going on?"

Remus gave a slow nod. "There is a part of him that he is still in control of, I'm sure of it," the man murmured, and ran a shaking hand through his hair.

Sirius understood the fear his former lover was feeling. He felt it himself, that little spot of darkness he couldn't quite deny. And the knowledge that a part of Harry still struggled against the dark lord was little comfort. Because even if it were so, there was still nothing he could do about it. Nothing any of them could do about it. Voldemort had taken over. And Harry wanted Sirius to finish the job, to keep his promise. Harry wanted Sirius to kill him. And Sirius really didn't want to, even if killing his godson _were_ the only way to truly rid the world of its most evil inhabitant.

And why were Remus and Charlie looking at him like he had some kind of plan!

**A/N: Rather a long wait this time, I shouldn't even bother saying. Uh, yeah. Sorry! Anyway~ thanks to Rhea1305, blaqkXIII, Hippipollamia, Little-Miss-Writer09, and Lia-Lily for the reviews! Thanks also to any readers I've still got on this one. You're awesome for bearing with me for so long!**


	19. Chapter 19

There were days, infrequent in their irrationality, that Sirius wished he could go back to school. Back to when he and James were kings of Hogwarts, Peter was still a nice kid, Lily hated their guts, and Remus was the best bed warmer he'd ever had. But those days were long behind him now, and Sirius could feel the creak of age in his bones, could see the strands of white already growing in his mostly dark hair.

Time had a funny way of making the old days seem good, no matter how bad they might have been. Because in those 'good old days', Voldemort was the most terrifying wizard alive, and Sirius couldn't wait for the day when he broke from his family and, together with his best mate, joined the good fight against that monster.

Harry was a powerful wizard, one in a long line of talented magic users. With Voldemort in control of his body, and his magic, he was still pretty terrifying. The dark lord might be short some of his tremendous power now, housed as he was in the adolescent body of his once nemesis, but that was no comfort to Sirius, who knew the truth. Because he could see what would happen, and it didn't take Divination lessons to figure it out.

No Deatheater would strike against his master, so Harry would be safe in that area. But who would try to kill Harry Potter? It was one thing for the Ministry to try and sweep the boy-who-lived under the carpet, and send him to live the rest of his life in St. Mungo's mental ward, but quite another to simply _kill_ the most famous wizard still living. And by the time anyone figured to fight against him, it would be too late. Just like when Voldemort had taken over before. Every step planned out, every riddle, no pun intended, set in place years before anyone would try to solve it. It was a terrifying notion, that peace, so hard won, could be destroyed so easily.

"Alright there, Sirius?" Ron asked around his spoon, nudging Sirius lightly in the side and out of his revere. Sirius nodded, tearing his eyes away from the figure of Harry sitting across the table, as far from his friends and as near to Draco as he decently could, considering they were gathered around a small table in a cramped kitchen.

But he wasn't really alright. How could he be when every time he glanced in Remus' direction, he could see the worry and fear in his former lover's eyes. When every time he looked at Charlie, he could see a boy completely out of his depth without so much as a clue on how to get out and back on safe and solid ground. And each time he thought of Tonk's being pregnant with Remus' child, it made him sick to his stomach. It shouldn't have been so important, in light of the situation with which Sirius now found himself presented, but that didn't change the fact that it was important.

He didn't realize how much he'd drawn into his thoughts until the loud clatter of dishes hitting the floor brought him violently into the present. Harry was standing, a look of mixed horror and disgust on his face, grasping at his arm as though he'd been burned. Hermione looked as if she'd been thrown back in her chair, only still upright thanks to Ron's firm grip on her shoulders. "What the hell is wrong with you, Harry?" the red head's temper, held so long in check, finally exploded, and he ignored Hermione's gentle murmur to leave it alone. To everyone at the table, it was clear that he was past that point.

"She touched me," Harry answered, as if that explained it all. He brushed his hand over his arm as if the movement could disinfect his skin. Hermione's brows furrowed with hurt at the move.

Even Draco seemed confused. "Just barely, Harry," he said soothingly, before Ron could spit out something a little more violent. "And it was only an accident." He reached out a calming hand, but only got a few inches away before Harry threw out his arm and knocked Draco back. The blond's eyes widened with shock. Harry hadn't swung at him since school, and even back then never for anything so petty as this.

"You're as bad as they are," Harry snarled, green eyes narrowing with growing anger. Even his voice sounded different, and Sirius stood slowly from his chair, catching Remus' gaze. "And just as stupid if you haven't figured it out by now." He balanced back on his heels and smirked down at the boy he'd professed to love, now completely cold to him. "A shame really. You'd figure a pureblood like you would be a little more proud, and certainly a bit more intelligent." That last shot fired, Harry spun on his heel and strolled towards the door, leaving a kitchen table surrounded by befuddled friends.

"Wotcher, Harry," Tonks called cheerfully as she came around the corner of the hall. Sirius tried to motion her away, throwing his arm in the air in broad motions. But it wasn't fast enough for Harry, who simply pulled out his wand and fired off a spell at Tonks that sent her flying back. She crashed into the wall with a scream and a thud that rattled paintings and pictures alike.

Various protests rose above the clatter of chairs, flung violently from the table, and the pounding of feet as the group in the kitchen surged forward almost as one. It was Remus who first made it to Tonks, Charlie hot on his heels. Tonks sat with a groan, hair shimmering to a bright red as anger lit her eyes. "Now what the hell was that for, Harry?" she snapped, and for the first time, Sirius could actually imagine that this woman was a real auror. At least, she looked scary enough to play the part right now.

"He's not Harry," Sirius confessed, moving to stand behind the teen as he headed for the door. "Not really. Isn't that right, Tom?" Harry's back was to them and to the undiscerning eye, he looked completely unfazed by the announcement. But Sirius was looking carefully. He could see the hair stand up slightly on the back of the boy's neck, the sudden stiffness in his shoulders.

"What?" Hermione breathed on a gasp, her hands flying up to cover her mouth as her eyes widened with fear. It was a conclusion that she had never, despite her studies, reached, and certainly not one she wanted to accept. Ron obviously didn't share her doubt and moved to stand between her and what used to be their dearest friend with such speed that Sirius wondered if the lad had suspected something along such lines.

Normally, and Sirius knew this from years of experience, wands would be out and pointed at the target with lightening speed. Only now did such a powerful group of wizards and witches show any sort of doubt. Even Tonks, as angry as she was, and Charlie, who knew exactly what Harry had become, stood still, hands hovering uncertainly over their wands.

Harry, or Tom, said nothing, for long moments and tension heightened in the room to such levels that Sirius could almost see it crackling through the air. Then the boy's hand dropped from the doorknob and he turned on his heel, a smile that was eerily pleasant passing over his borrowed face.

"It seems that not everyone in this house is as insipid as I'd come to believe," Tom returned, the coldness in his voice completely at odds with that strange little smile. "So what will you do now, Black, hmm? Will you kill me?"

Sirius opened his mouth, sure that the bravado that had carried him this far would kick right back in and shoot off a response that would be totally appropriate, but words failed him. He couldn't even pretend to have the right answer here, and he glanced quickly around the room. Near the kitchen door, Ron stood protectively before Hermione, face red. On the other side of the hall, Tonks, Remus and Charlie stood in a small huddle. It was clear that none of them had the foggiest idea how to handle this situation any better than he did, but they still looked to Sirius for the answer. Damn it all.

Tom took advantage of that confusion and uttered a summoning spell that brought Charlie's wand, with a short burst of anger from the elder Weasley boy, soaring the air. He caught it easily, rolling the old wand between his fingers before dropping it to the floor. A quick kick sent the wand skittering across the hardwood until it bounced against the toe of Sirius' shoe. "Pick it up," Tom demanded smoothly, not at all afraid of what might come if the man obeyed the order.

_"There might come a time when I ask you... when I need to do something for me, Sirius. Something bad. Would you promise to do it?" _Sirius remembered Harry's voice as if the boy were standing before him now, whispering the words with as much urgency as he had days ago. _"Promise me!"_ Sirius had promised him. He knew what Harry had meant, but even as he stooped to retrieve the wand, his eyes kept cautiously on the boy in front of him at all times, he couldn't quite reconcile the thought with the action.

His hand was shaking. His palm was sweating. The wand felt foreign, strange to the touch after having been so long with magic. He'd become accustomed to a more muggle way of doing things, but he still knew the spell. No one, after having been taught once, could forget such a curse. "Sirius," Harry's voice sounded more firm, more...Harry now, and Sirius' gaze snapped back up. "You have to kill me."

"Shut up," Harry snarled. But no, that had to be Tom, fighting to keep control of the body and the soul he was sharing it with. "Do it!" Harry yelled in Sirius' direction. "Do it," Tom mocked and laughed derisively. "A simple spell, boy. Cast it! Come on then!"

Sirius' brows furrowed together and he lifted the wand. But he couldn't say the words, couldn't force them past the lump in his throat. Harry...Tom let out a laugh that sent chills rolling down his spine. "You always were a disappointment. Goodbye, Black." Even as Tom said the words, the end of Harry's wand started to glow the unmistakable green of the killing curse, and Sirius let his hand drop. He couldn't kill his godson, even if he knew what would happen when he didn't. At the very least, he could accept the death that would be his punishment. After all, it wasn't like he had never died before.

"No!" Remus' shout came from his left and Sirius instinctively turned towards it. As that horrid curse came at him, the werewolf broke free of Tonks' grip on his arm, moving forward with such speed that Sirius might say he was getting some help from his furry little problem after all. Remus' hand wrapped around the wand and in one fluid motion, the smaller man shoved Sirius towards Ron, ducking away from the curse and firing off one of his own.

It was almost as if time had slowed down, Sirius could hear the spells as they passed over his head, could hear each gasp and protest of each person gathered in the hall. The heavy thud of Harry's body hitting the door sent tremors resounding through the air and finally, finally, Sirius landed on the floor, only barely managing to stay upright, keeping his eyes trained on the limp body of Harry Potter as it crumpled to the hardwood.

**A/N: Wow, long overdue. A-ha-ha...yeah. Anyway! Thanks to Lia-Lily, DarkWiccanPrincess, Jupiter 13, Hoppipollamia, hikari0205, Arista Luna, subaru1999, and DopeyDD for the reviews on the last chapter, which now that I look at it wasn't all that long ago! I don't feel so bad now!**


	20. Chapter 20

It was strange, how he managed to take in everything that was happening, as if he had panoramic vision and sonic hearing. He could hear Hermione's gasp, even from across the room, and Ron's half-choked gargle of protest. He saw Tonks fall back against the wall, head down and hands over her face. He watched Draco dash across the hall, could hear the boy's heart breaking as cried out Harry's name and fell to his knees, pulling the limp body of his lover onto his lap. "Harry," the name, spoken in soft tremulous disbelief, unsteady fingers grasping one lifeless hand, and head bent low, even now trying to hold back the sorrow that threatened to overwhelm.

Sirius turned away. He'd known anguish like that and had no desire to see it again. His eyes fell on Remus, still kneeling on the floor from the dodge that had saved them both from the killing curse. The wolf looked in shock, as if he couldn't quite believe what he'd just done, no matter how necessary it had been. He turned wide eyes to Sirius. "I…I couldn't…" he stammered and trailed off, unable to finish whatever it was he felt needed to be said. Remus looked back at his hand, still gripping Charlie's worn wand, and gasped, dropping it to the floor as if it were on fire.

Remus seemed only seconds from finally giving in to the terror that had kept everyone else back until almost too late, and still Sirius couldn't find it in him to move. So he had only himself to blame as he watched Tonks wrap her arms around Remus, drawing the man, trembling into her embrace and murmuring soothing words into his neck.

There was a hand on his shoulder and a soft voice, "Sirius?" He turned, catching Hermione's gaze on him. "That wasn't Harry, was it?" she asked, though he was sure she already knew the answer. Still, he shook his head. "It hasn't been Harry for a while, right?" He nodded. "Oh." Everything was in that one word. Then she was gone, kneeling with Ron in the doorway to the kitchen. Ron, who didn't seem able to cry, who only stared in shock at Draco, rocking slightly with Harry cradled in his lap.

Sirius ran a shaky hand through his hair, pulling his legs close as he attempted to stand. It was Charlie who noticed it, and his sharp intake of breath caught Sirius' attention. He was only half upright, leaning heavily with his hand on the wall, so when he looked up, following Charlie's gaze to Draco and Harry, he nearly fell back on the floor, his knees too weak to hold his weight.

His eyes were open, brilliant green with unshed tears, his arms tight around Draco's shoulders as the blond sobbed into the crook of his neck, and a small smile crossing his face as he looked at Sirius. In all, it was nothing that a truly dead person might do, which meant that Harry, as unlikely, as utterly impossible as it might seem, was alive. Sirius looked at Remus, caught only a glimpse of the shocked expression on his love's face before his legs really did give out, and he fell, the world turning solid black even before he hit the floor.

Darkness. It was familiar. There too was the murmur of voices, softly spoken words fading into the background of reality, laced with relief and tearful joy. Not the Veil then, and not Azkaban. Not even the darkness of the dorm rooms at Hogwarts, the night before summer break separated them for long months, after the revelry and before the light of dawn seeped through half closed curtains, when James and the others had fallen into a stupor in the common room, having had too much fun to end the night willingly, and left the two of them alone, alone to give in to the urges, the moans and cries and comfortable silence of two people truly content and truly meant for one another.

This darkness was none of that, because this darkness came with a stinging pain centered on the back of his head. He struggled to open his eyes, blinking in the late afternoon sun. So he'd been out for a while, he concluded even as he fought the siren's call that beckoned him back to the darkness, to unconsciousness and the escape from reality. It was harder to ignore than it by all rights should have been. With a groan, he pushed himself upright, ignoring Harry's protests as the boy pushed lightly against his chest, a subtle encouragement to stay down. But Sirius ignored it, much too busy staring at the teen sitting on the edge of his bed, Draco only inches away, leaning against the wall with his hands tucked in his pockets. Ah, now there was a stance he knew. The blond was trying desperately to keep his hands to himself, fighting the temptation to hold his love and never let go. And having only so recently lost and recovered him, Sirius couldn't blame the boy.

Sirius reached out, dropping his hand on Harry's shoulder and the boy smiled at him, so like his father that Sirius had to forcibly remind himself that this was Harry. "How…?" He couldn't finish the sentence, only pulled Harry across the bed and into his arms, heedless of the fact that he had so recently been dead, and that Sirius himself seemed to be suffering some kind of injury that sent stars bursting behind his closed lids. Then he pushed Harry back, holding him at arm's length with both hands on his shoulders. "Is Voldemort…" Sirius hesitated on the word, turning it over on his tongue as he searched for something better before finally settling, "gone?"

Harry was quiet for a moment, his smile lessened and he seemed to be looking inside. Then he nodded, and his expression turned unsure. "It's strange," he said softly. "Tom's been in there so long, ever since the battle, I never thought what it might be like to not have him... around." Harry waved a hand vaguely and Sirius let his hands fall to the blankets that covered his legs as he watched the boy struggle for words. "I thought, there's only a small part of him left and I've been fighting Voldemort... Tom... in small parts since I was eleven." Harry ran a hand over his face and suddenly Sirius found it very hard to remember that it had only been seven years earlier. Harry seemed so much older in that instant than he'd ever seen him.

"But thinking about you, and Arthur, everyone else, and the war... I kept getting sick, and having those strange dreams. I never realized just how much that small part was growing. Then the last time I got sick," Harry shook his head, folding his hands in his lap and watching his fingers flex together. "I was fighting him all over again, trying to stay in control of myself, but he'd already taken over so much. So I let him have the rest, because it was easier than fighting. And maybe I've been around Hermione and Remus for too long, because I thought that there had to be a smarter way to end it."

Harry was silent for a few moments then, and Sirius waited, sensing that the boy wasn't quite finished. To his side, Draco's shifted his weight from one side to the other, and pulled on hand from his pocket long enough to rub inelegantly at his nose, but he watched Harry with as much interest as Sirius. Then the brunet took in a long breath, his shoulders rising with the air in his chest and he sat straighter on the edge of the bed. "So I waited, setting out clues when I thought I could get away with it, so you and Remus would know something was wrong, until I finally had enough energy to just ask for help. Even then, I couldn't get away with too much. He was always there, always ready to stop me from saying or showing too much. But even so, you figured it out." Harry smiled at him again, leaning forward to embrace his godfather tightly. "Thanks, Sirius," he said lowly, he voice hardly making it to Sirius' ear.

It was a few minutes before Sirius could speak past his sorrow, and his relief. He cleared his throat roughly and set Harry back, gently. He needed to regain some kind of masculinity and all this hugging and crying certainly wasn't going to do it for him. "What about that one?" he jerked his head to Draco, whose face remained impassive, but even with the space between Sirius could see the nerves tighten in his jaw and knew the boy's hands were fisted in his pockets.

Harry turned to look at Draco and when he shifted back, there was a gentle smile on his face. "It might have only been Tom's influence that pushed me to him," he admitted softly, "but, even without Tom, I still love Draco." He shrugged. "It could be he was embracing a part of me that was hidden so well I couldn't see it. Maybe it's childish, and maybe you'll laugh, but I'm not so grown up or twisted that I can't believe in happy ever after, right?" Harry smiled at him again, giving his hand a gentle pat that reminded Sirius far more of Lily than he'd ever seen in Harry before. Then the boy stood, stretched his arms over his head in the manner of one who had spent too long sitting in the same spot, and tried to stop the yawn that nevertheless escaped. He gave Sirius one last sleepy smile and headed for the door.

Draco followed quickly, pausing hesitantly at the door before apparently giving into whatever urge he'd felt and turning back to level his pale gaze at Sirius. "I told you once that I couldn't believe that Harry had been so eager for your return," the teen started haltingly. "To be perfectly honest, I still don't understand it." Sirius opened his month to throw out an insult then, but Draco refused him the opportunity, merely continuing his confession as if Sirius' reaction to it was of little meaning. Knowing his family as he did, Sirius reckoned that it probably was. "I realize that it wasn't you who freed Harry from ...the dark lord," Sirius could tell by that slight pause that Draco was struggling with the memory of that man even now, "but I also realize that had it not been for you, none of us would have been able to ...do as was necessary." It was clear then that that was all he would get out of Draco. Still Sirius' eyes widened as Draco bowed, with the practiced grace that any well-learned pureblood could muster, one arm bent to his waist and his eyes lowered respectfully. He might have imagined the awkward flush high on the boy's cheeks as he straightened, spun on his heel and left the room, pulling the door closed behind him with a firm click. It wasn't an apology, or even a thank you, but Sirius grinned anyway, because it sure as hell was as close as he'd ever get from that particular second cousin.

**A/N: It's been forever, I know. Thanks for the reviews to all, and thanks for sticking with this story. I'm thinking one more chapter ought to do it. Then this will officially be the longest time I've ever spent writing on anything. Haha.**


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